A Memo To Folks On Twitter: You're Doing It Wrong

When you're posting about your favorite show mere minutes after the latest episode ends, please try to bear in mind the following:

• There's this thing called "DVRs" and there's a pretty good chance that, whether it be through the vagaries of a sick kid vomiting apple juice or the fact that commercials are for suckers or...
• There's this thing called "The West Coast" and "Time Zones"
• Some of us decided that paying $100 for 800 channels when we watch six was also for suckers, and cut the cord so to speak. As such, we have to wait a day before Amazon/iTunes/Vudu posts the episode for (legal) download   

Please try to bear these simple facts in mind before you POST MAJOR FUCKING EPISODE SPOILERS IN YOUR TIMELINE YOU FUCKING TWATWAFFLES.

Seriously, I haven't wanted to punch a stranger in the face so hard since I went to pick up the Harry Potter & The Half Blood Prince a day after it came out and some gangly pizza faced virgin leaned over the second floor railing at the Burlington MA Barnes & Noble and shouted "Dumbledore Dies In This One". 


While I don't want to go overboard here, let me end by saying I hope cancer eats your eyes and everything you've ever loved dies before you, and you end up coughing out your final days penniless and alone in a one room efficiency at your local Y.