Why Yes, Kelli Maroney is Follower #100 on All Things Horror! A New Contest!

KELLI MARONEY + NIGHT OF THE COMET CONTEST

A few months ago I posted a heartfelt tribute to one of my favorite female actors- the lovely, talented, tough-as-nails Kelli Maroney. You may remember Kelli from such favorites as Night of the Comet, Chopping Mall, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, The Zero Boys, just to name a few. She can also be seen recently in a season 1 episode of True Blood, the hit HBO vampire series. She puts the "feist" in feisty and the "sarc" in sarcasm. Ok, I don’t know what that means, but Kelli is very down-to-earth AND she does good work for animals, both signs of a wonderful person.

Little did I know that just a short time later Kelli would be a follower on our blog! I consider it quite an honor to know that someone I’ve admired for a very long time takes the time to skim through our ramblings. While I’m at it, let me also take a moment to point you to this wonderful interview by Brian Kirst at Horror Society. Kelli Maroney Interview at Horror Society

In light of this, in addition to being super psyched, I’m going to do a giveaway:

The prize will be a Night of the Comet DVD sent to you with love and care. All you have to do is post your favorite Kelli moment from any of her fine films, and tell us why you like it so much! I’m going to keep the contest open until we reach 115 followers and choose a winner by a secret system.

In the meantime, here are a few places to catch up with Kelli:

Kelli’s Blog

Kelli's Official Page

Kelli’s Facebook Page

Kelli on Myspace

Horror Society puts out the call for female directors

I just got this bit of news in my email box and thought I'd pass it along. Chicago based site Horror Society has announced their latest film fest coming up May 1st, and it is one for the ladies. Hoping to spotlight the many fine women that contribute to the genre, Horror Society is looking for submissions from female producers, directors and writers. Here's the nitty gritty and a link for submissions:

Women of Horror 2 Call for Entries

We are thrilled to announce another Women of Horror Film Festival in May… Women of Horror 2.

With each festival we try to bring a new and different theme into the movie theater, and once again it’s Lady’s Night!


On Saturday, May 1st from 5pm to 2am, Horror Society will feature films directed, produced, or written by women.

Our goal for this festival is to show the female side of the horror genre in a way that most of the horror fans are not familiar with. Many studios and companies need to stay away from this point of view because it does not attract the audience they are looking for. To us that is a shame. There are so many female directors doing indie horror now without the recognition they need and deserve. This is our chance to show those women that are making these types of films.


So with that said, we are looking for films (both feature and short) that go along with this theme. If you are a female director, producer, or writer, here is your chance to get your film screened to an audience that will appreciate it. Submission fees are real cheap at only $20 for a short or a feature length film.


April 17th will be the final day for submissions. Anything postmarked after that date will not be considered.


Here is a link to the PDF Submission Form: http://www.horrorsociety.com/PDF/WOH2.pdf

Inevitably, there are going to be those who decry the format of such a festival, usually for one of two reasons.

First, you'll have those who cry foul that one of the two genders has been excluded from competing. As a middle class white dude, I know the shame and pain of being excluded purely on the basis of my gender and skin color, and feel your pain brosefs. For now, let's take a collective deep breath, and rest assured with the knowledge that we'll overcome someday.


Second, they'll be those that hold the opinion that restricting the festival to women marginalizes female contributions to the horror genre by isolating their work. Unfortunately I don't have a pithy comment for this one. Much like the punk and hardcore scene, where too often women were expected to hold their boyfriend's hoodies while they played or slamdanced, horror is far too often a boys club. By showcasing female creators Horror Society is giving the opportunity for the films to hopefully stand on their own merits.Like any festival, they'll be some amazing films and they'll be some clunkers, regardless of the chromosomes behind the work. If the movies I've been sent for our own monthly film night as well as the continued excellence of many female run horror sites is any indication, the idea of a gender specific anything oneday will appear like a quaint artifact from a byegone era.

Place your vote for your favorite horror blog on Bloody-Disgusting

Recently Bloody Disgusting announced they’d be a hosting a “Best Horror Blog” contest on their site. This move came on the heels of an embarrassing decision by Total Film to hold their own “best blog” competition where the proceeded to nominate nothing but the bigger name news horror sites. This would be akin to CNN and The Fox Channel receiving local Emmy nods. The folks over at B-D seemed a bit sheepish about the whole thing, and in turn have done a solid to the horror community in putting together their own event.


All Things Horror was lucky enough to earn a nomination for the poll. While it’d be great to receive some votes, I’m not going to schill for ourselves hear, nor mention the contest outside of this post. We’re happy to be nominated, but frankly, there’s a ton of sites out there more deserving. What I encourage anyone reading this to click the icon at the top of this post, register for the Bloody Disgusting site, and vote for your favorite site. More importantly, run through the list of nominees, and start checking out some unfamiliar places. I would bet a hand job that you’ll find at least three amazing sites that you’re not currently reading.

As far as I’m concerned, I’m all for nearly anything that drives readers to our site. The fact that in the two days the poll has been posted, our traffic has about doubled. While we all write our sites for our own gratification, none of us live in a vacuum, and if I didn’t want my articles to be consumed and commented on by as wide an audience as possible, I’d have kept a diary with a lock and key. As we approach our six month mark, I feel like our site has started to find its sea legs. The feedback we’ve gotten from you reading this site has been tremendous and well appreciated. The camaraderie we’ve built with some of other favorite sites has been outstanding. Starting All Things Horror has allowed me to cover some amazing events, and more importantly, it’s allowed Chris and I the opportunity to bring amazing independent films to an audience through our monthly film series.

So thanks again to bloody disgusting for putting this together. Now if someone over there can stop fapping over Saw films for a few minutes and maybe post a couple words about our local event, or at least respond to the email, I’d be even more stoked.

DVD Review-A Perfect Getaway

At the beginning of last August, Universal dumped “A Perfect Getaway” into theaters during the heat filled dog days of summer. August has proven the dumping ground for movies studios want off their plates, and most of the titles that come out that month receive none of the fanfare the earlier summer blockbusters receive while they tear their way through box office returns. A Perfect Getaway came out to fair to decent reviews, boasted a competent cast, an exotic locale and the promise to be a nice little thriller to munch some popcorn to. It was the type of film I’d see as part of a double feature on a Saturday afternoon while trying to escape the stifling humidity. It came out just as I was leaving for a two week vacation, and by the time I came home, no theaters nearby were still showing it. Really, no skin off my back, but I was happy to find the Blu Ray in my mailbox via Netflix earlier this week.

Cliff and Cyndy (Steve Zahn and Milla Jovovich) have just married and are off to Hawaii to enjoy their honeymoon. However, the excitement of hiking through the gorgeous landscapes en route to a private beach are tempered when they learn another couple has been killed on a nearby island, and the killer is still on the loose. They begin to have doubts about their trail guides Nick and Gina (Timothy Olyphant and Kiele Sanchez). Nick is an ex-special ops veteran from the Iraq War with a platinum place in his head. While he’s wooing the screenwriter Cliff in hopes of seeing his exploits on the big screen, the newlyweds start to question whether he’s just softening up their guard before he moves in for the kill. Also, what is up with the crazy pair of hitchhikers they’d met earlier and why do they seem to be following the group?

That’s the simple premise behind the film, and it’s a fun one to watch. The deal with this movie is there’s a twist at the midway point that completely turns it on its head, and makes you see the events from earlier in a completely different perspective. Twohy sets up expectations for a twist throughout the film as Zahn’s screenwriter character refers to “red herrings” while talking to Nick. At one point, a minor character walks by the group warning them that “There’s lots of twists and turns up ahead”. Little moments lead the viewer to believe that no one is what they appear and a brief bit of dialogue from Jovovich

The twenty minutes that follow the twist are the film’s best. Twohy replaces color with blue/white filters that flashback through the events leading up to the pivotal moment, and it looks razor sharp. These scenes show each of the characters and their motivations in a whole new light. While the third act of the film, revolving around chasing and hunting one another down, gets a little too enamored with split screens and slow motion action, it still pays off in a satisfying way.

While it won’t win any awards, A Perfect Getaway is a nifty little entry into the survival horror genre. The film looks gorgeous. Shot on location, if nothing else it will make you start looking up travel sites for possible vacation spots. Olyphant is fantastic as the world’s smartest hick and survivalist. On Blu-Ray the film's transfer is simply stunning. There’s just enough dementedness to his character where you’re always guessing what’s going on with him. Steve Zahn is far from his usual comfort zone as zany sidekick, but he plays the role of neurotic husband to a ‘T’. Twohy doesn’t try stuffing too much into the film, keeping its premise simple and allowing the action to unfold without trying to hoodwink the audience. Sometimes after months of over the top horror fare it’s all right to kick back to something a bit more “horror-lite” for the night.

CONTEST: Design a Banner for All Things Horror

CONTEST: Design a Banner for All Things Horror
(spread this around)

Hello all you gory graphic artists out there. You may have noticed that our banner at the page top is...um...lacking. The truth is I suck at computer art and Mike is probably too busy to take a crack at designing one himself. Well, here's your chance to help us out. See, we're holding this little contest where you, yes YOU, have the opportunity to show off your flashy art skills on a classy joint like our little site.

We are welcoming all types of styles from hand-drawn to grindhouse to ultra slick and sleek. Don't be shy, we're not too snobby. What we are is excited about showcasing your talent and making it a prominent fixture on the site. We scratch each other's backs, know wut I mean?

Starting now, the contest will run until Midnight on Friday, February 19, 2010.

Prizes will include a one year subscription to HorrorHound, one of the very best horror mags going right now.



We’ll also throw in a gift certificate to Fright Rags. Who knows, maybe there will be some other prizes. Mike is always trying to give away naked pictures of himself surrounded by nature, so maybe that’s a thing you could get. The possibilities are endless!

This will be judged solely by Mike and I, so don’t worry about popularity contests. We will simply choose the one that best represents what All Things Horror is all about. What's important is you better get cracking on some art because this contest isn't going to last forever.

A few requirements for entry:

1) Banner should be leaderboard size to stretch across the top of the blog (728 x 90).
2) Make sure you (discreetly) give yourself credit somewhere in the art.
3) Format should be pretty standard (jpg, gif, tiff, all that jazz)
4) You understand that you've given us permission to use the banner as we see fit.

Include your full name, phone number, and address and email your entries to ContestATHO@gmail.com and put Banner Contest Entry in the subject line.

Any questions, direct them to allthingshorroronline@yahoo.com

We'll be posting all the entries so everyone can take a look, but only the strongest, meanest, vilest will win the coveted top spot.

GOOD LUCK!!!

The Sunday Morning DIE-Gest Vol. 5

Another Sunday morning, another start to the day with a gallon of Dunkin Donuts coffee flushing last night's bourbon out of my system while the cats chase each other around and my boxer shorts are spinning in the wash.

So while all that's going on, here's what I've been reading while kicking back and listening to some old Jawbox ("For Your Own Speical Sweetheart") and Pegboy ("Strong Reaction/Three Chord Monty"-this band was criminally underrated) this morning.

The Horror Crypt

I just enjoy saying the name of the person who runs the site out loud: "The Bloofer Lady". Seriously, how much fun is that to say out loud? I just want to run around saying "bloofer" over and over again. Catchy name aside, if you're in the mood to read some good old fashioned ranting, this is your go to site. It's a thing of beauty to watch her wind up then uncoil a wrath of venon at the offending party, whether it be Bloody-Disgusting for their upcoming horror blog contest, or the fools behind the upcoming Conan the Barbarian remake. While I might find myself on the opposite end of the opinion spectrum, I just have to respect a good rager. Recently she's also posted a fantastic article on the Scottish legend of the cannibal Sawney Beane and his clan, something I knew next to nothing about and after reading I immediately wanted to track down more info. It's refreshing to read unfiltered opinions when so many writers are seemigly going ut of thier way to offend no one and thus, end up boring everyone.

Dollar Bin Horror

As someone that had to eat more than his fair share of Ramen during the struggling college years, I've got nothing but respect for the format Rhonny Reaper has come up with. Dollar Bin Horror focuses on titles you can find in the bargain bin for a buck. For those that are ultra broke, or spent the last of their pocket change on an extra double cheese burger on the dollar menu, Ms. Reaper has also reviewed a massive amount of titles that fall under the public domain category and can be downloaded free of charge without the MPAA breaking through your window and giving you a knuckle sandwich. Aside from film reviews, DBH provides profiles and interviews of artists and creators in the horror community such as author William Malmborg and Shaloco Sching, co creator of the My Zombie Pinup Calendar. She has also just opened up her own online store, so click the link here and show some support by buying a tee shirt, hoodie or stuffed bear.

So that's what I'm reading online right now. Of course, I'd be an idiot if I didn't encourage everyone to look tot he right hand side of our site and check out all of the links to our fellow horror pals. And if you've got a site of your own you think we should be reading, go on and send us a comment or an email. Nothing gets me through thw drudgery of the work day like reading my favorite horror sites.

In the Mouth of Madness: The Paperboy Grew Up to be Darth Vader

IN THE MOUTH OF MADNESS




“I’m losing me!”


In the Mouth of Madness (1994)
Directed by John Carpenter
Written by Michael De Luca

I just jumped at the opportunity to see In the Mouth of Madness, John Carpenter’s amazing conclusion to his “apocalypse trilogy”, on the big screen. You know what I really love about it? Well, guess. Give up? Ok, what I love about it is how it’s pieced together like a pastiche of sensationalist newspaper headlines. For example: “MAN GOES CRAZY WITH AX ON DOWNTOWN DINERS” or “POLICE FIND DEAD MAN CHAINED TO LITTLE OLD LADY”. The film is obviously a commentary on media hype, sensationalism, religion and the possible resulting mass hysteria from getting a little too caught up in the mess. It’s also a powerful treatise on madness and the perception of reality. It succeeds because Carpenter handles these themes with a lightness of touch that never feels preachy, but still maintains a grave atmosphere that can truly scare as well as entertain.


(Is there something…off…about this coffee?)


Confident insurance investigator John Trent (the brilliant Sam Neill) has been hired to track down missing horror writer Sutter Cain (Jurgen Prochnow), an iconic literary figurehead modeled after HP Lovecraft and Stephen King (even the film title is in homage to Lovecraft’s At the Mountains of Madness). Cain, whose work is immensely popular and has a profound effect on the psyche of his readers, has recently disappeared. The clever Trent believes it’s a publicity stunt, but agrees to the case. After a few nightmares, in a moment of epiphany, he pieces together a map from Cain’s book covers and realizes where he must look. Along with publishing agent Linda Styles (Julie Carmen), the two hit the road in search of Cain. Let me pause there to say that the part with the map appears convoluted and cliché, but you’ll (hopefully) understand why it was written in later on. The duo travel to the small and possibly fictional New England town of Hobb’s End, a place where Cain’s stories often take place. They arrive purely by chance, luck, or…a more ominous intervention. Once introduced to the town, its eerie inhabitants, and Cain himself, Trent’s idea of reality is shattered as ancient banished monsters plot to return to our world through the writing of Cain.



(Just where is our Cain, anyway?)



(Is Cain hiding out in the church?)


In the Mouth of Madness has one of horror’s greatest collections of monsters, creepy locations, creepy characters, and straight up bizarre sequences. I’ve always loved it, but never fully appreciated it until getting to see it in its intended glory. Carpenter is a master of creating a sense of isolated space and his shot selection is superb. From a deserted stretch of highway to an intimidating Byzantine church to completely claustrophobic cells and confessional booths, every shot is perfect. Some scenes are near panic-inducing as characters are pursued by mutated townsfolk and tentacled monsters. The film has a movement that goes inward toward the town and further still into a padded cell as if it is also moving into the recesses of Trent's mind. The viewer is sent on the same journey, always questioning just what is and is not reality. Wow, what an intelligent, layered, complex flick!


(I’m not locked up in here, you’re locked in out there!)


What’s also great is the tour-de-force performance of Sam Neill. Over the course of the film, he goes from a suave and confident insurance investigator to outright paranoid loony. He takes the role seriously, but with a sense of humor that laughs with the film and not at it. The final shot is hysterical as it plays out as if a lunatic version of “this is your life”. I believe Carpenter and Neill were completely in sync with the overall vision and this performance proves it. Masterful work, guys!



(I swear to you I saw real dinosaurs at that park and ghosts on the ol’ Event Horizon, and none of it is as bad as this.)


A few more notes about acting: Some people have complained about the performance of Julie Carmen as Styles, with her cavorting body and silly dialogue in the beginnning. But you know what, she is dead on. She acts as if a character written in a pulpy mass-produced book (like Twilight)! And in the case of Charleton Heston - who better to play the man who hires you in the film version of your life? The only thing better would have been like having Arnold Schwarzenegger in the role. I’m telling you, everything in this film is very well thought out. It’s brilliant!


I’d like to briefly mention the excellent effects work of KNB (Robert Kurtzman, Greg Nicotero, and Howard Berger). They really did channel some serious Lovecraft here in the form of razor toothed, tentacled, slimy monsters. The pre-CGI practical effects are totally believable and downright terrifying. I heard an audible sigh of relief from the crowd after Trent’s escape through the long tunnel after Cain releases the ancient monsters from their world. The siege scenes are wonderful as large mobs of mutated uglies swarm the streets with baseball bats, axes, and other everyday killing devices. Their faces are truly grotesque. Finally, the gymnast/crab/backward head crawl of Styles is a terrifying wonder to behold.


(“It’s Mommy’s Day!”)



(It’s just like riding a bike…forever and ever and ever and ever…)


I make no effort to hide my undying love for John Carpenter. Sure, he’s had a few missteps, but his body of work is that of a true master. I’ve been lucky to see Halloween, The Thing, and Prince of Darkness on the big screen and want to give a big shout out to the Brattle Theater for continuing some wonderful horror programming! JC, you are the man!



(I simply LOVE blue!)

p.s. did you notice Hayden Christensen in his best role?


In The Mouth of Madness Trailer

After Dark 4: Worth the money or wait for the dollar bin?

The After Dark Horror film fest is just around the corner. I remember feeling genuinely excited a few years ago when the first one rolled out, only to be amazed at how universally poor the movies actually were. Kudos has to be given to the marketing team and those responsible for creating the After Dark promotional trailers, because they managed to make Alpo look like a porterhouse for ninety seconds at a time.

Of course, a good trailer will only take you so far, and each year the announcement of the next After Dark festival seems to be met with derisive jeers and jabs from the horror community. It’s too bad After Dark shot itself in the foot by offering so many putrid films, because some excellent films have fallen under the radar. Consider it guilt by association. For example: Frontier(s) rarely gets mentioned alongside other outstanding French horrors like Martyrs and Inside, but it is every bit as compelling and challenging as those films. The Abandoned is a nifty ghost story and The Hamiltons is a decent flick as well.

Looking at this year’s lineup, I’ll admit I’m curious. At first glance After Dark appears to have learned the lesson that Lucy can only pull out the football from Charlie Brown so many times before he kicks her in the teeth. At first glance at least a couple decent flicks appear worth checking out.

What I’ve listed below is the After Dark 4 lineup, a brief official synopsis of the film, and my own take. You’ll also find a link which will show you the list of cinemas After Dark is screening this year.

To see if After Dark is playing in a theater near you check out the following link for a list of theaters.

LAKE MUNGO

What they say: In Lake Mungo, sixteen-year-old Alice Palmer drowns while swimming in the local dam. When her body is recovered and a verdict of accidental death returned, her grieving family buries her. The family then experiences a series of strange and inexplicable events centered in and around their home. A series of clues lead the family to Lake Mungo where Alice’s secret past emerges.
Says me: Those expecting a paranormal horror story might be disappointed. But it looks like it will strike a balance between the ghostly and the quieter moments of a family attempting to work its way through the grieving stage, something that Peter Jackson forgot about completely when turning The Lovely bones into a big budget made for TV style serial killer movie.

DREAD

What they say: Dread, the second in the Book of Blood franchise is a stylish horror/thriller about three college students working on a documentary for school focusing on what others dread in life.
Says me: Hmm. Outside of Candyman and Hellraiser, there’s never been a Clive Barker movie adaptation that’s impressed me. Maybe I’m sour because the Book of Blood film from last year was so mediocre, but I'm reserving judgement on this one. I dug the vibe of the trailer, the characters look interesting, and I've got an inkling they'll be some sort of vibe the original April Fools Day had to it. We'll see.

THE FINAL

What they say: Dane, an awkward student with a deadly vendetta and suicidal tendencies, leads a group of outcasts who plot to avenge the years of humiliation they faced by the popular students at Hohn High School. Employing ideas inspired both from their classes as well as from horror films they watched, the outcast turn the tables on the popular students who made sport of them.
Says me: This is a movie I’m actually excited for. If it’s done right, it’ll be like a bizarre world where the people behind “Can’t Hardly Wait” cribbed off of “The Strangers” instead of “Say Anything”. I saw CHW four times in the theaters because I'm a sucker for teen romances and mid 90's Jennifer Love Hewitt.

HIDDEN

What they say: HIDDEN is the story about a young man, Kai Koss (aka KK,) who unwillingly returns to the small town he ran from 19 years ago. His cruel mother has recently died, and left him the house he grew up in. He means to leave as soon as he has made all the necessary arrangements, but with his heritage comes dark and deadly secrets, and KK soon finds himself tangled up in a series of event that seem beyond anyone’s control…
Says me: Yawn. The trailer is as generic as it gets. You have your tortured pretty boy with a past coming back to his old hometown? Haven’t heard that one a billion times before. The trailer is full of jump scares of things that aren’t really there and quick, confusing jump cuts. I’ve got a feeling this will have some big “reveal” at the end that our protagonist has been evil all along.

KILL THEORY

What they say: Are you capable of the unthinkable? That’s the question seven college students face when they visit a secluded vacation home to celebrate graduation and are put to a horrific test by a mysterious killer. By 6 am the following morning, only one of them can remain alive. Whoever that person is will be allowed to walk away with his or her life. However, if morning comes and more than one is still breathing, everyone dies.
Says me: This is one of those films that only work if you’re completely willing to turn off your brain, or if you’re an Insane Clown Posse fan. What could be the possible motivation for the villain in this film, and how did he just happen to know a large group of friends would end up in a remote location? Why doesn’t everyone calmly load up the van and get out, or grab a weapon, circle up and wait for the lone killer to face the group? There’s suspending disbelief and then there’s putting logic in a Cobra Clutch until it passes out.

ZOMBIES OF MASS DESTRUCTION

What they say: In ZMD, a conservative island community is under attack! Port Gamble, Washington is being overrun with braineaters, and the people seem powerless to stave them off. A rag tag band of rebels led by Frida (Janette Armand), an Iranian college student suspected of being an Iraqi terrorist, and Tom (Doug Fahl), a gay business man who has returned to town with his partner to come out to his mother, tries to turn the tide and push the invading hoards of undead back.
Says me: In a conservative community, wouldn’t zombies just starve to undeath? This looks like it could be the sleeper it of the fest with its “zomidy” roots and timely political message. The trailer has a couple good one liners. The look of the zombies shuffling out of the woods evokes Night of the Living Dead. It’s theme of outsides (in this case foreigners and gays) coming into conflict with the conservative majority also evoke Romero’s “fish out of water” themes.

THE GRAVES

What they say: On their last weekend together, Megan and Abby Graves are lost in a remote part of the Arizona desert where they are lured to Skull City Mine, an abandoned mine town. But they soon learn Skull City is anything but abandoned — and there’s no way out. The sisters are now prey, forced to unleash their most primitive instincts in a desperate, all-out battle for survival against unspeakable horrors — both human and supernatural.
Says me: Films featuring a cameo by Tony Todd have now reached Robert Englund status-you’re nearly guaranteed a terrible film. Bill Mosley looks a long way from Chop Top and Otis Firefly territory here, but it’s nice to see him get a paycheck. This looks like a Martyrs-lite knockoff.

THE REEDS

What they say: A weekend boating trip through the Norfolk Broads becomes a terrifying, deadly ordeal for six 20-something year old friends. Aboard the Corsair Star, a small cruiser rented from Mr. Croker, the local marina operator, the boating party loses its bearings and cuts through the vast reedy tidewater in search of the main channel. Every effort to preserve themselves and find a way out fails, as one by one the friends are terrorized by young punks and killed by a hooded man with a gun. There is no escaping this vast waterway, presided over by Croker who killed a group of young people decades before and initiated the hellish curse which traps all who take passage on the Corsair Star.
Says me: Why are there so many horror films about good friends that decide to vacation in the ass end of nowhere? Seriously, when you’re getting together with your buds, aren’t you fighting about whether to hit Vegas or the beach? This movie? Swamps. The Reeds trailer has all the hallmarks of an After Dark film: pretty cannon fodder, a remote location, terrible CGI and even worse dialogue.

So what’s the final tally? Out of eight films, I’d call three of them big screen worthy, two of them have some potential and the final three I’d have to consider bashing my head intro the coffee table in an attempt to pass out if I were drunk on my sofa and couldn’t find the remote when these came on as SyFy’s movie of the week.

Trailers:

Read These While You’re Waiting for the Bus: Coolest Horror Comics

I’m a lifelong fan of comics, and except for a 5 year period where I didn’t read any at all, I very rarely go without reading a handful a week. While I don’t specifically seek out horror comics, I am a huge fan of many horror titles. I enjoy everything from the old E.C. comics like The Vault of Horror to Mike Mignola’s mind-blowingly great B.P.R.D. series.

Here’s a small list of some horror comics you might check out and enjoy:

UZUMAKI



Uzumaki (Junji Ito): Junji Ito is a sick man. His horror comics run the gamut from killer fish that walk on mechanical legs (Gyo), to a young girl who is killed over and over and over by her suitors (Tomie). His work inspired the intensely scary Ringu and its well-done American cousin The Ring. Uzumaki is the crux of his sick imagination, a very TWISTED story about a small town’s extreme obsession with spirals. The film version of Uzumaki is also one of my favorites!

DYLAN DOG



Dylan Dog (Tiziano Sclavi): This darkly humorous Italian comic was the inspiration behind Michael Soavi’s excellent Dellamorte Dellamore (Cemetery Man). Sclavi’s series chronicles the journeys of a paranormal investigator (modeled after Rupert Everett) and his interactions with a crazy cast of characters. Very surreal stuff.

MNEMOVORE



Mnemovore (Ray Fawkes & Hans Rodionoff ): Loving tribute to Lovecraftian folklore and monsters. Full of gloomy atmosphere and a downbeat ending, the story follows a young amnesiac as she discovers memories are being consumed by a tentacled monster. It looks like a film version is on the way starring Kristen Bell.

THE NIGHTMARE FACTORY



The Nightmare Factory (Thomas Ligotti): Excellent series of illustrated tales based on the terrifying works of Thomas Ligotti. There are a lot of startling stories rendered by numerous talented artists like Ben Templesmith and Ted McKeever.

PIGEONS FROM HELL



Pigeons From Hell (Joe R. Landsdale): Re-telling of a Robert E. Howard sick story. It’s a gruesome haunted house horror tale adapted by one of my very favorite genre writers. The art by Nathan Fox (coloring by Dave Stewart) is almost sickly wet-looking with blood and guts and lots of feathers. Pretty gory, this one.

FROM HELL



From Hell (Alan Moore): This is probably a no-brainer for most comic fans, but if you missed out on Moore’s complex historical speculative fiction about the true identity of Jack the Ripper, do make the time to read it. It’s full of excellent social commentary, mystery, theory, and wonderful art by Eddie Campbell.

Home Movie: Click and Drag This Footage to the Recycle Bin

HOME MOVIE





Home Movie (2008)
Written & Directed by Christopher Denham

WARNING: THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS

The found footage or “shaky cam” trend seems unlikely to go away soon. I'm absolutely fine with that. It's just another technique and if you don't like it, you don't have to watch it. The digital age has been a more-than-welcome revolution placing cameras in the hands of creative people, and the style has shaken up a stagnant system by rattling Hollywood complacency. With the monstrous success of Paranormal Activity, Cloverfield, and The Blair Witch Project, as well as the critical success of [REC], Diary of the Dead, and The Last Broadcast, it's clear that we're in for plenty more. With more affordable technology, small time productions find it easier to escape languishing in financial limbo. Their films attract producers who see a means of generating huge profit with very little investment. Unfortunately, that also means we'll be wading through tons of garbage as producers with less creativity and other-than-honorable intentions attempt to cash in and a make loads of cash with little risk and, sadly, little imagination.

So, from writer/director Christopher Denham, we get Home Movie. I'm going to put Home Movie somewhere in the middle of the row. Clearly it was made to shock viewers, and, at the same time, stimulate some brains cells. The only problem is that it doesn't work. The whole thing ends up being too ludicrous to be taken seriously. At times, it borders on outright campiness. I’ll try to explain why I feel that way because I know this film has gained a few fans and some notoriety.


The picture perfect family.

The story captures the life of the Poe family. They live a seemingly normal life (except for the fact that they seem to videotape EVERYTHING) in a nice house in the country. They celebrate holidays, tell stories, goof around all under the watchful eye of the video camera. We are first introduced to them in the midst of a birthday party, and right away we sense something isn't quite right with the twins, Jack (Austin Williams) and Emily (Amber Joy Williams). We learn later that David (Adrian Pasdar) is a minister and his wife, Clare (Cady McClain), is a psychiatrist. This makes for an interesting dichotomy which pits two very different schools of thought against each other when the creepy stuff starts happening. We basically witness the destruction of a family in which the children are inexplicably committing atrocious acts of violence. Clare is trying to keep her family together with medicine and therapy. David is trying to save their souls with prayer.

While the filmmakers probably thought they had a potent story on their hands, ultimately it failed to deliver on its promising set up. The potential is there, with an intriguing premise that combines the found footage style with the usually taboo evil child/child in peril genres. I mean, thematically, there really is a lot to chew on from the nature of “evil” to parental responsibility, religion, abuse, psychology, all explored as causes and salvation. It's full of many well-meaning ideas, but where it fails is generating any sort of real atmosphere of dread. One thing I blame is the editing. It moves in a clunky manner with certain escalating circumstances leading to anti-climactic moments and reactions. For example, after some particularly gruesome evidence of the kids doing bad things, the parents are having a tiff in the bathroom that feels levels below the horror/anger they should be expressing. It feels as if they are arguing over no worse than whose turn it is to take out the trash. Maybe this is the result of it hinging on an "assembled" feel, but I'm not sure. Worst of all, I felt no sort of emotional resonance throughout the film. This was due to a stiff script delivered by actors that are just not up to the task.



I'm sooooo bored. Wanna go do evil?


In order for Home Movie to have worked many elements needed to cooperate to create a sense of realism. The lure is that we're following around everyday people in an ordinary environment. Those characters should sit in as us, the viewer, making believable choices and mistakes. The hook is the introduction of a fantastic or horrific element. When children act out in a cruel, violent manner it is something entirely relatable, even for people without children. At least it should be. The film attempts to explore the conditions that may lead to children being “evil”. The problem with Home Movie is that it just doesn't understand how to construct these elements in a realistic manner. The entire thing is weighed down by the script which eschews improvised dialogue and action for what seems a completely calculated screenplay.

Everything about Home Movie feels very stiff, particularly the acting. The children never seem to pull off being chilling. To me, that is the biggest problem with scary kid movies. They always hinge on those performances. The few that have gotten it right, like Who Can Kill a Child and more recently The Children, understand the importance of that crucial ingredient The filmmakers behind those films know that understated is always the best. The two adult leads are also weak, in my opinion. Adrian (Near Dark) Pasdar tries really hard to be engaging and likeable, but just comes across as goofy. I realize that was part of his character, but it just felt so forced. Many people have complained about Heather Donahue (The Blair Witch Project) or Micah Sloat (Paranormal Activity) being annoying protagonists, but I absolutely believed they were real people in a real situation. I could never quite get past thinking the actors were acting in Home Movie, a stake in the heart of urgent, “it’s happening right now” found footage films.

The movie is obviously meant to shock, and there is certainly no shortage of startling images. There are some glimpses of the aftermath of animal cruelty that will definitely bother most viewers. However, by that point I found the whole thing so ludicrous I was laughing at how over-the-top it was. Should I be laughing at a crucified cat? No, probably not. The most important thing to remember is that a found footage film should take all precautions to avoid feeling staged. By the film’s climax, I found that everything from the opening shot to the “shocking” closing shot to be just that.

Home Movie Trailer

Vote for Chris to be a chance at Horror Movie History!

There are contests and there are CONTESTS!

Horror filmmaker James Phillips recently gave film geeks the chance to name his upcoming project, and Chris' suggestion has made the final four.

We're competing against B Movie Becky of the fantastic blog The Horror Effect and some other jabronie.

Chris' came up with the catch little number Deadly Pursuit. Go on and say it out loud. Doesn't it roll off the tongue? If you were flipping through the entertainment pages looking for something to catch at the cinema ona Friday night, wouldn't you say "Now THIS is a title I can get behind!" load up the kids and sink into Bon Bon related bliss when the title card pops up on screen? At the very least, wouldn't you pop it into your Netflix Watch Now folder between Fraggle Rock Season 2 and Shrooms?

Now, while B Movie Becky has come up with some okay names, there's three things you need to know about her*:

• Every Halloween she gives trick or treaters pennies and toothbrushes instead of Snickers bars.
• You know that movie The Ringer starring Johhny Knoxville as a guy that pretends to be handicapped so he can win the Special Olympics? Based on her exploits.
• I heard she's notorious for texting people spoilers of movies that they're on half way through, and she rips out the last five pages of every book at the library.

Now, after reading that, who would vote for her? Pick Chris' post by going to this site and voting in the poll in the top corner.

*I may be making these things up.

All Things Horror presents "Dawning" at the Somerville Theater Wednesday February 3rd

Beold Michelle Milette's gorgeous poster folks. Behold it or be damned!

Our second movie night is right around the corner. As much as I loved our first event, I'm going to go on record and say the films we have lined up are even better this time around. for those that don't know, every moth, we're showing off some of the best new independent horror shorts and features you can't find anywhere else. These are films yet to be picked up for distribution, so you're not going to find them on Netflix, your local video store or online. We're essentially presenting a miniature film festival every month.

The films:

Dawning (dir. Gregg Holtgrewe) won “Best Picture” at the 2009 Rhode Island Horror Film fest and we’re going to be screening a new cut of the movie. Easily one of the tensest films I’ve watched in a long while, Dawning tells the story of a fractured family reunion held out in a remote cabin. While each member of the group struggle with their own personal insecurities and demons, something unseen and evil preys of them from outside. This film scared the everloving crap out of me as the palpable sense of isolation, not only from civilization, but form one another prove to be each characters undoing. Dawning drops the viewer right in the middle of the situation, never giving its audience more information than its characters have which makes every twist and turn that much more unbearable. This movie will play with your head and imagination, and keep you up late into the night

We also have three fantastic shorts lined up as well:

Thirsty (dir. Andrew Kasch) This short cracked me up. I called it a mashup of Clerks and Maniac. It’s the hilarious road tale of a bigmouth stoner travelling salesman as he makes his way down deserted highways just looking for a cold frosty sugar filled beverage to quench his thirst. Throw in some travel induced hallucinations, aliens and an axe wielding serial killer, along with a catchy jingle and you’ve got a short film with a great beat that you can dance to.

Wheels of Death (dir. Rob Kennedy) From the shores of Ireland, his a howlingly funny short about a woman that hits a bicycle cop with her car, then flees from the scene. She has no idea how far he’ll go in order to write her up a ticket.

Now That You’re Dead (dir Patrick Rea) Nifty little vampire flick here. This one has a little bit of everything: sex, murder, fangs, betrayal. While some say revenge is a dish best served cold, this film argues it’s best served at sunrise.

You can pre-order tickets by clicking the link in our sidebar for a measly $5. You can't even order a crappy value meal for that little scratch anymore, let alone checking out some of the best indie horror going. If you're in the boston area, come check this event out. the Somerville Theate ris smack dab in Davis Sq with a ton of cool places to eat around, plus you can buy beer at the theater. Plus, the screening room is located right next to the Museum of Bad Art, so as a throw in you get to look at some hideously fugly artwork as well.

Click HERE to check out the Wheels of Death Trailer

What I'm looking forward to in 2010

Now that we're a couple weeks past the hoopla of the year's end, and everyone has taken a look back and posted thier best of lists, it's time to look ahead and see what the new year is going to bring. Looking ahead, this might be a banner year for the horror genre. There's a number of projects I'm personally looking forward to, and I'm sure there's going to be films that fly under the radart, only to knock fans on their asses once they hit the screen. So without further ado, here's what I'm stoked about in 2010:

The All Things Horror Presents film series

Allow a bit of shameless self promotion for a moment. The thing Chris & I look forward to the most is the opportunity to bring some of the best independent horror shorts and features to the big screen every month. We've lined up enough material to get us through the late spring, and we're just getting rolling. The All Things Horror Presents film series runs the first Wednesday of each month at the Somerville Theater at 7pm.

Remakes I actually want to see

Bitching about remakes is easier than Manute Bol and Shaq playing keepaway with a one legged dwarf since the vast majority are so terrible, but this year there may be a couple exceptions. I've never seen Romero's The Crazies (though I may need to after Chris' post) but the trailer for the remake looks awsome. I love me some Tim Olyphant since Deadwood, and the trailer makes this out to be a tense, scary flick about a town sucumbing to madness.

One-Two Freddy's coming for you! I'm really excited for the Elm Street remake despite the generic teen cast and the news of reshoots and poor test screening. I think thy've got the right man in Jackie Earle Haley to don the red and green. The new makeup was pretty gruesome and the news that the film is cutting the comedic elements that made the latter Elm St sequels so lackluster and focusing on horror is a welcome sign.

Old and new masters hit the screen (plus-Scorcese tackles a ghost story?)

While Decaprio in the 2000's isn't quite the use to Scorcese that Deniro was in the 70's and 80's, they have a pretty stellar track record together. I'm not sold on this being a "ghost" story simply becuase I've read the book, and while Dennis Lehand put together a FANTASTIC story with a twist I didn't see coming, I'm hard pressed to remember there being a supernatural element to it. That aside, the trailer looks creeptastic. Moody and atmospheric, this looks like a tense thriller.  I don't know how he'll fit "Gimme Shelter" into the soundtrack, but there's not better director than Scorcese.

While I only thought Adam Green's debut Hatchet was okay, there's nodenying the man's love of horror. His followup Frozen look like it will rely on tension and realism rather than goofy tounge in cheek references to 80's horror as a group of firends find them selves trapped on a ski lift with no easy means out. Hatchet 2 production is underway and the addition of Danielle Harris and AJ Bowen to the cast should make for an improvement over the first movie.

While John Carpenters work in the 90's was a huge comedown from previous heights, I still believe the man can deliver. The Ward looks like it might be a return to tension, mood and atmosphere over gore, as it tells the story of a young girl confined to a mental institute and the ghostly images that haunt her.

Robert Rodriguez is directing a Predator film. Nothing else really needs to be said. Sign me up.

Cheese Whiz

If you can turn of your brain for 90 or so minutes, Legion has the chance to be one of those "so bad it's good" end of days cheeseball fests.

From the look of the trailer, Nic Cage might, again I say might, surpass the immortal "The Bees" line from the tragically awful Wicker Man remake as he plays a knight of the Crusades (you had me at hello) in charge of transporting a witch to the gallows. It looks like a big budget cheese fest with some questionable CGI, but I'm oddly compelled by the trailer, and can see myself sneaking off to catch a late night showing after the wife drifts off to sleep.

The Classic Monsters make a return

Well, one of them does. I know it's been plauged by reshoots and the date kept getting pushed back but we're finally getting The Wolfman in February. The casting is awesome, the film looks gorgeous, the look of the Wolf Man is scary as hell and I'm in love with the trailer. I can't see how this isn't a slam dunk. Will this kick off a trend with more of the classic Universal Monsters hitting the screen again? One can only hope.

More overseas goodness hits our shore.

The Descent was easily the scariest movie I saw all last decade. While I was of the mindset that a sequel was fairly pointless, the reviews from various festivals has been surprisingly positive. If I can remind myself to lower my expectations somewhat, the stroy of Sarah returing to the caves to face the Dwellers will make for some big screen fun.

I am one of the unfortunate souls that saw the inferior Quarantine before [Rec], therefore the power of this Spanish gem was a bit diminished. The festival reviews of [Rec 2] have been overwhelmingly positive, and I've got my eyes peeled out for domestic screenings of the film. Picking up moments where the first left off, a milatery cleanup crew make thier way through the confine and infected apartment building, only to be ambushed by the rabid humans. Plus, the Vatican mystery of the first movie will be explored in more detail. If this plays anywhere within a couple hundred miles of me his year, I'm roadtripping it.

Small Screen Scares

Vault of Horror covered this in much more detail in this post, but the upcoming adaptation of Robert Kirkman's "The Walking Dead" comic fills me with glee. Frank Darabont (The Mist) is on board as producer, and AMC makes quality shows. I've always thought of the comic as an extended version of 28 Days Later, focusing on a group of survivors as they meander through the zombie apocolypse. While I gave up on the comic after about fifty issues (Kirkman writes too many titles and spreads himself too thin for the quality to be consistent) in the right hands, this will be an amazing television property.

Check out the Conversations in the Dark podcast with special guest-ME

Thanks to Brian Solomon of Vault in Horror fame for making me a guest on his new podcast series "Conversations in the Dark".

Brian and I talked about our favorite foreign horror films from the French, Japanese and Spanish over the past decade and it was a blast. It almost feels like a "no duh" thing to say, but the Vault is one of the top horror blogs on the web, and a huge influence on our own site. Brian has made it a point to highlight other horror bloggers, helping to grow the online community. He has helped bring attention to some of the best female sites on the web, brought in guest columnists to share their opinion on his own site and is now co-hosting the new podcast series with a new guest and topic every week.

So give a listen to a pair of thirty somethings talk about what makes them leave the night light on:
Conversations in the Dark with Brian Solomon and Mike Snoonian

The Vampire trend that's not so much about vampires

A number of websites and media outlets proclaimed 2009 kicked off the golden era for the vampire. While there’s a number of projects centered on vampires that are thriving right now,


Twilight has become an international phenomenon. Millions of books have been devoured by tweens and soccer moms as the coo over Edward clutching their heaving bosoms while imagining themselves as Bella, the most bland, vanilla heroine in literature history. The first two movies have grossed four hundred and eighty three million dollars domestically alone.

This fall, the Vampire Diaries debuted on the CW network. Based on the young adult series by LJ Smith, the show revolves around a pair of vampire brothers, one good one evil (kind like a Vampire Highlight’s for Children version of Goofus and Gallant) as they struggle for the affections of Elena. Developed by Scream and Dawson’s Creek creator Kevin Williamson, the show features insanely attractive people spouting maudlin dialogue. No word whether or not the Dawson Eats Poo face will make an appearance in the second season. While the CW lags behind the other networks in total viewers, the show has done well, averaging just shy of four million viewers an episode and getting solid reviews.

True Blood has been the water cooler drama HBO has been missing since the Sopranos ended. While the romance between Bill and Sookie is front and center, and there’s enough eye candy on all sides for Willie Wonka to reopen the chocolate factory, the show has plenty to love for horror fans. The show has a fantastic gothic atmosphere, and a creepy soundtrack to boot. There’s plenty of bloodshed and pissed off vampires make mincemeat of humans. True Blood is the one shoe my wife and I don’t even bother to DVR. When it comes on, we drop whatever we’re doing to watch it together.

So what do all these projects have in common, aside from the focus on the undead? Well, they’re all filled to the brim with some of the most insanely attractive people on earth (though I admit, I don’t get the RPatz craze. The dude sports a unibrow and looks perpetually confused).

The vampires in the Twilight series are vamps in name only. Stephanie Myers readily admits she wasn’t up to speed on the folklore, she just decided to make her own version from near scratch. What she created was a safe, teen romance where the average girl gets to live forever with the man of her dreams, never getting old, never having to face the adult world. Vampire Diaries stars Boone from lost and a dude that looks like a doppelganger for one of the best looking guys in Philly, Brian Sullivan (look him up ladies, he’s a doll-and a lawyer. And I hear he can do lasso tricks with his wangdoodle).

This dude is not getting callbacks

What matters to the audience isn’t the monster itself, it’s the face playing the monster. I love the Bloodstone series. But if you based a love story around Radu, one of the gnarliest vampires to grace the screen, and you’ve reduced your potential audience to about 3% of the population. Daybreakers did okay in its opening weekend, but it’s not drawing in the 15-25 year old non-horror fan female crowd with its graphic eviscerations and Sam Neil in the vampire lead. 30 Days of night did okay at the box office, but its sequel is going DTV. Take out the southern charm of Bill or the norse like qualities of Eric in True Blood, and replace them with guys like Larry David and let’s see how well the show does on the gothic horror elements alone. Can’t we just say that people like to watch other extremely good looking people on screen, be it as a vampire or a plumber (imagine Lost with an island of Hurleys). While it’s impossible not to turn around and get hit in the junk with another story talking about the hot vampire trend, it’s safe to say that the traditional Dracula and his garlic fearing counterparts are staying safely away from both the hot glare of the sun and paparazzi camera.

A Plea for a Really Nice DVD Edition of CREEPSHOW Here in the U.S.

CREEPSHOW (1982)



Please. Someone. Anyone! Hear my cries. The UK released a sweet 2-disc edition of this masterpiece a few years back. Well, that’s not enough! We need our own version gracing the shelves of all our major DVD retail outlets right here, and right now. I want to be able to see this superior version comforting me on the shelves of all my favorite stores. Yes, I know I can just order it, but I want the security of knowing that a random horror fan shopping for movies can see it right in front of them and think "oh man, that's right! Creepshow! I've never seen it, I think I'll buy and love it forever". In fact, I demand it for the sake of humanity.


(So jealous of you, UK!)

What does the UK have that we don’t (besides this dandy edition, I mean)? I have this totally lame snap case edition at home. You’ve probably seen it at like Target or Wal-Mart for $4 or something. It has a trailer and that’s it. I want all the extras and interviews and features about the fascinating making of this fine feature film. I want it now!


(You can’t see me, but I’m throwing my best Veruca Salt musical tantrum right now.)

Look, Creepshow is a fantastic, fun, scary movie that is often overlooked. It’s a damn shame. I have watched it more than any other movie. I used to draw my own comic versions when I was 10. I have all the lines memorized. Yes, I’m THAT guy. I love this movie so damn much it hurts and scares me. How can you beat Romero’s masterful tension and editing, the color, the perfect mix of scares and uneasy laughter? You can’t! What about Stephen King’s fine writing and surprisingly engaging screen appearance? What about the spectacular effects from the maestro, Tom Savini? You can’t beat it, I’m telling you! Great monsters, tons of blood, Adrienne Barbeau and Tom Atkins! What more can you possibly ask for?!?!?

Ok, you got me. I really just wanted to gush about CREEPSHOW. But seriously, someone do this.

I’ve been browsing youtube to placate myself and I found a few gems to share with you:

George Romero interview on MonsterVision (Part 1 of 9)



Great Savini Featurette About Bursting Roaches from EG Marshall



Behind the Scenes TV Spot (This journalist leads with “but you won’t find any zombies in Creepshow”. HA!)



CREEPSHOW TRAILER (AKA BEST MOVIE EVER)

I Invite the Horror Blog Community to (Re)Watch Romero's The Crazies

The Crazies (1973)
Directed by George Romero
Written by Paul McCollough & George Romero

Hey guys! I'm in the middle of re-watching George Romero's The Crazies after probably 15 years from having seen it the first time. I very much enjoyed it back then, but didn't take it as seriously as I should considering I was a dumb, snot nosed brat. It was probably due to my immaturity, snickering idiotically at a 70's sensibility which I've now grown to appreciate. In light of the upcoming remake, I thought it time to revisit and see how the whole thing aligns with/slams against my now highly evolved worldview. Wink Wink. Pretentiousness be damned.

Mike, I know you haven't seen it, so I would wholly welcome your take on it. It would be great if others in blog-o-land could do the same and express opinions, emotions, hatred, etc. I'm not going to send out any sort of formal invitation, but if anyone would like to do this, I'll link you up here on All Things Horror.

By some accounts, it looks like the remake (out in February) will chuck the horror of unchecked martial law in lieu of a more emotional, intimate look at dealing with a plague scenario. Not sure how I feel about that, but I find myself intrigued by the trailers. Time will tell.

If you do participate, send me an email to hallock@gmail.com or link in the comments section and we'll get to talking. I realize the film is a little hard to find, but we have a couple of weeks to get it together.

THE CRAZIES TRAILER

Revisiting The Fearless Vampire Killers, or: Pardon Me, But This Movie is Awesome

THE FEARLESS VAMPIRE KILLERS



The Fearless Vampire Killers or: Pardon Me, But Your Teeth Are in my Neck (aka Dance of the Vampires) (1967)
Directed by Roman Polanski
Written by Gérard Brach & Roman Polanski

In the topsy-turvy world of vampire films, Roman Polanski’s The Fearless Vampire Killers occupies a unique spot. It's nearly universally considered a great vampire film, yet when it comes to listing favorites, those same fans forget to mention it. It's clearly not out of disrespect for the film. As soon as someone brings it up, everyone is like “Oh YEEEAAH, that's a GREAT movie. I'm guilty of this myself. Indeed, it is great!


"I’m…just a…little…too short...to…reach…"

No matter what your opinion on Roman Polanski's troubling and controversial life, you have to admit he is one of our greatest living filmmakers. Just rattle a few titles of his work off the top of your head and you’ll spout out some of the best horror films ever made like Rosemary's Baby, The Tenant (my personal favorite), Repulsion, Knife in the Water... See what I mean? The guy's body of work is astounding! The Fearless Vampire Killers is a more-than-worthy addition to his outstanding filmography and a real treat for horror fans.

A simultaneous homage and parody of classic Hammer horror films, as well as a nod to wacky team comedy horror like Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein, it’s a thinly veiled indictment of the real life wealthy vampires who drain our own world. The Fearless Vampire Killers succeeds in making you laugh while still delivering some pretty sweet moments of tension and horror. This is due in no small part to the fantastic location and sets, superb costumes, and some damn fine acting. The snow covered mountains of Romania (shot in the exquisite Alps) make an excellent backdrop in creating a feeling of isolation so crucial to the film's success. The authentic village and castle settings help the viewer acquire a sense of being smack dab in the period.

Driven by scientific curiosity, Professor Abronsius (hilariously played by Jack MacGowran) and his faithful assistant Alfred (Polanski), a bungling pair of goofballs, are hunting vampires. With a case full of vampire destroying paraphernalia, they’ve travelled far and wide across Transylvania seeking evidence of their whereabouts. About to give up, they happen upon a tiny village within the snowy mountains of Transylvania and discover that the grumpy inhabitants have taken precautions to protect themselves against vampires. Their fortifications are obviously taken from “Warding Off Vampires 101” and the place reeks of garlic. They are trying to keep away the brethren of creepy Count von Krolock (Ferdy Mayne) who’s castle casts an ominous shadow over the tiny village. Professor Abronsius’ curiosity gets the best of him and the duo poke around in the affairs of the elite vampire aristocracy. Alfred falls in love with Sarah, the lovely daughter of a tavern keeper, but she is kidnapped by the Count. The Professor and Alfred stage a daring rescue by entering the belly of the beast in a climactic showdown.

The cinematography in this film is outstanding. The dull blue-grey icy world is punctuated by moments of brilliant red in the costumes, blood, and the fiery red hair of Sarah (the gorgeous Sharon Tate). The camera is nearly always moving, but it is never distracting and almost always used to enhance a particular feeling, whether it’s a dizzying sleigh ride on the barren ice, or the duo frantically searching for a way out of a claustrophobic cell. There are many moments of characters looking out of windows beyond the scope of their immediate lives, the camera there to give us a small taste of what they’re observing.

Looking back, it’s depressing to see Sharon Tate, very alive and vibrant, and knowing that she was brutally murdered in real life a short time later. What a terrible tragedy. Also sad is seeing the goofy Polanski prance around like a fool, and knowing the sort of monster that lurks within him. There’s so much anguish lurking beneath this fairly light-hearted romp only lent some gravity by the moments of horror.



Here are a few reasons to enjoy The Fearless Vampire Killers:

1) When Count emcees the climactic “Dance of the Vampires”, he flashes the “hail Satan” devil horns to the crowd in true heavy metal fashion.


The Count is one creepy head vampire.

2) Terry Downes as Koukol, Krolock's hunchbacked, dentally-challenged servant.


The Count’s dental insurance plan kinda sucks. Get it?

3) Every time someone looks out of a cell-like window, the nearly surreal images of icy landscape make you feel glad to be in a cozy cell.

4) The aristocratic vampires in the film’s climax are truly scary and ugly, just like real wealthy vampires. The “Dance of the Vampires” (the film’s original title) is a truly frightening moment.

5) Sharon Tate with fiery red hair and spending most of the film in a bath.


A tender moment of bubbly bliss.

6) The looks on Professor Abronsius’ face are absolutely hilarious, particularly during the final dance.


THIS is why I wanted to share a bed with you!

7) I LOVE the DVD artwork!



And now…the Grotesque Dance of the Vampires.