Some Musings About Horror in the Fall

Since I get especially excited about horror movies in the fall, I've had a lot of people ask me lately about their appeal. For me, that's an easy one. Watching horror films is a great way to bring me back, for better or worse, to my childhood. I have a lot of great memories associated with horror films, whether it's seeing double features at the drive-in (good ole Lovetts RIP), or cowering under a blanket in front of the TV (I still do this). I guess horror has always been a great escape from a lot of nasty real stuff going on in my life. Good horror movies can be life affirming and inspiring, at least for me. I've lost a lot over the years in terms of friends and family, but horror movies are still there to comfort me. Freaking weird to be soothed by such grim stuff, I know.

My first great horror memory took place in the fall when I was probably like 4 years old. I distinctly remember hiding out under a blanket watching John Carpenter's Halloween on cable. My family lived in an apartment complex, and my mom had been travelling back and forth all evening to an outside laundry room that served the residents. I swear, every time she left, I thought for sure Michael Myers had snatched her and stuck her with a big kitchen knife. I mean, there's that freaking scene with Annie in the exact same situation, doing laundry with a horrible presence lurking about. I pictured things going down about the same way, except my mom is playing the part of Annie which is weird because I developed a huge crush on Nancy Loomis shortly after (Who didn't?!). I only had NORMAL feelings for my mom, so shut up!



One time, me and my friend Dave attempted to camp out in a field after watching several disturbing movies through the day like I Spit on Your Grave, Nail Gun Massacre, and Luther: The Geek. It was one of those early fall days just after school started, and a thick fog would develop in the evening, covering the field and making it very hard to walk around without bumping into things. Pretty good atmosphere for hide and seek and for GETTING THE SHIT SCARED OUT OF US. Anyway, we ended up sheltering inside because we got freaked out by a light in the nearby woods. The next day we found out an escaped mental patient had been caught very close by in the parking lot of our apartment complex. That was quite a holy shit moment, but I think we tried to camp out again that night. Made it even more exciting since we'd had (in our minds) a near death experience. The patient was probably harmless, but to us he was definitely a serial killing cannibal.



So now, the big kid that I am is looking forward to the plentiful midnight horror movie screenings at our area theaters, and also the huge horror marathons that take place on Halloween night. There's something about walking around in that crisp night time mist after a horror marathon that makes me feel so alive and happy. The only thing I need is someone to hold my hand when I get jumpy from all those creepy little sounds that only seem to get bigger and louder late at night. Happy Fall!

Revisiting Suspiria on the Big Screen

Revisiting Suspiria on the Big Screen

Author: Chris Hallock

I just stepped in from the cold after catching a beautiful Technicolor print of Dario Argento's Suspiria. I'd never had a chance to experience it on the big screen, so I was stoked that our local indie arthouse the Brattle Theater had borrowed a pristine print from overseas. Apparently there is no decent print to be found in the states. Damn if the screen didn't explode with that famous brilliant color and atmospheric lighting! The near capacity crowd was awash in lush reds and greens and blues! The Brattle also cranked up the sound so that Goblin's maddening score rattled my nerves like never before. Having only seen it in two small screen formats, an old VHS when I was thirteen, and a more polished DVD edition, I was smiling in wide-eyed wonder just like when I was a lad. That it’s often considered Argento’s masterpiece is no surprise. My only complaint is that it looks like this print received a number of small cuts with a bit of the gore left out (where was Pat’s heart stabbing?!). Just how many versions of this film are out there, anyway?



I’m not sure what’s left to say about Suspiria that hasn’t already been mentioned in countless articles, interviews, and conversations about the film. It is almost universally considered one of the most frightening films ever made. Even so, I'm always a little hesitant to recommend it to certain uninitiated movie fans. That's sad to say considering it's so ridiculously great in many ways. This dark fairy tale about American dancer Suzy Banyon uncovering a coven of witches running her a dance school is plagued a bit by some convoluted writing. Some unforgiving viewers might not understand.

Argento is clearly a visionary and he tells his stories with stark, angular, gorgeous and shocking images. He is an auteur who knows what he wants. However, the characters must have conversations to move things along, and therein lies the problem. Argento struggles with dialogue. The film hinges on a charming absurdity that requires a very high level of suspension of disbelief. It plays as a mystery, but everything is spelled out with the most obvious of clues. It's one of those movies where a character will appear out of nowhere just to provide a left field explanation that ties everything together (Udo Kier’s appearance is one such instance). There is also a very flamboyant 70s sensibility in the art design and costuming that gets more than a few snickers from newbies. Sometimes those snickers are like stabbing because I love this movie so much, but then how can you not laugh at hulking manservant Pavlo and his wooden false teeth or doe-eyed Albert in his knickers and bowl cut?

I admit (grudgingly) that Suspiria can be downright silly at times, but it’s a mesmerizing piece of horror filmmaking. The sum is possibly not as great as its parts, but then those parts are pretty freaking amazing! Everything is so gorgeously composed and detailed that you never dwell on the plentiful ridiculous moments. In fact, it’s those touches that gives the film a dream-like quality bordering on the surreal. Argento clearly writes with a sense of humor that may lose a little in the translation. What is important is that there are many powerful, now iconic moments that deliver every time. From Pat thrust through a colorful stained glass window and dangling from a wire, to her friend carved up in a rain of glass and framed on the checkerboard marble floor. What about the moment where Daniel is attacked in a dark and foreboding square? Who hasn’t cringed when seeing the silhouette of the directress as she wheezes in bed, with only a sheer curtain to separate her from a whispering Suzy and Sarah?



Argento is often criticized for extended murder scenes of pretty girls and accused often of outright misogyny. Argento’s argument is that if he’s going to film several ugly deaths, he may as well balance it out with pretty girls to look at in between. Maybe the matriarchal culture of Italy brings out the worst in him. Who knows? It’s not like the men have it easy, either. Poor Daniel got his throat ripped out by his own seeing-eye dog! No one is safe in Argento’s nightmares!

Again, I need to mention the amazing Goblin score. The music throbs, beckons us into the story from the first moments we see Suzy in the airport. We know that once she goes through that sliding glass door, nothing will ever be the same again. The score gives the film a weight, a consciousness, a pulse, and a mythology that’s now been completed as part of a trilogy that includes Inferno and Mother of Tears. Like Suzy, we immediately step into a frightening realm of intrigue and terror with very few places to hide. The jarring cacophany of the score doesn’t guide us so much as it grabs and pulls us in kicking and screaming.

Ok, I changed my mind about hesitating. If you haven’t seen this, you are missing out on one of the great horror cinematic treasures. If there’s any hope of seeing it in a theater, please jump at the chance!

A Nightmare on Elm St trailer hits the web. See it here

Can't wait until Zombieland to see the Elm St. remake's trailer? Well, courtesy of Myspace video, it just hit the web last night , and through the miracle of cut and paste you can see it below.

I'm pretty excited for this for one reason: Jackie Earle Haley as Freddy Krueger. Dude was creeptastic as a child molestor and sexual deviant in Little Children, and the film has promisedto bring Freddy back to his darker roots. It looks like the standup comedian with knife blade aspect that the character devolved to in later sequels is gone. Granted, the 'teen' cast is your standard generic CW types done up to look a bit more alt-angsty, and even the non-nightmare scenes look like they take place in a grungy setting.

A Nightmare on Elm Street opens April 30th, 2010.

A Nightmare on Elm Street in HD

Boston peeps: The Coolidge Corner Theater is Stuffed with Horror Themed Events in October

With its long running slate of midnight movies, special events, genre marathons and “can-only-be-seen here” programming, The Coolidge Corner Theater has long established itself as the best independent cinema in all of Boston. October is an extra special time at the theater, as the Coolidge hosts a series of horror-themed events as we get closer to Halloween. This year promises to be no exception, as there are some very cool events lined up starting this weekend.


Friday October 2nd (Midnight) Things kick off with a bang with a screening of John Carpenter’s Halloween. This still remains my all time favorite horror film, so despite watching it on Blu Ray last weekend, there’s pretty much nothing that’s going to keep me out of the theater for that. For fans that would like to take the opportunity to burn Rob Zombie dolls in effigy (I still kind of like his take on it) the theater would probably ask you to do so in the comfort of your own homes beforehand, or at the Peet’s Tea shop across the street. Word on the street is there’s going to be a slew of JC midnight screenings during October-and by word on the street I mean that I heard it eighth hand while standing in line for a movie this Thursday. Yep, that’s the kind of hard hitting journalism you’ve come to expect from ATH. If we get The Thing, The Fog or Prince of Darkness on any of the other Friday nights, I know where I’ll be every weekend in October.

Saturday October 3rd (Midnight)-Jay Cannibal’s Feast of Flesh IX. This is three events rolled into one. Things kickoff with the band Walter Sickert & the Army of Broken ToysLink to Myspace. After that Mr. Cannibal trots out the Black Cat Burlesque Troupe (Link to Myspace Page)everybody’s favorite for of risqué entertainment from the 1920’s alongside gothic backdrops and scenery. The festivities end with a screening of Return of the Living Dead in all its goofy B-movie brain eating goodness.

I’ll be honest here, I love live music, and I love horror movies. I don’t really want to combine the two things. And burlesque just isn’t my thing. I’d rather just see a fantastic Z-grade zombie flick combined with some short films instead of slogging through 60-90 minutes of the openers. That said, a few hundred people a year turn out for this, so there’s something to the appeal that I’m missing. For those that go, show up in costume and you could win prizes from local area business New England Comics, Horror Business clothing & apparel and Regeneration Tattoo. There’s also a freebie goody bag for anyone that attends.

Friday October 9th Army of Darkness Quote-A-Thon (Midnight)-If you’ve ever wanted to shout “Give me some sugar baby!” in a crowded theater without being escorted out by staff or having a coke dumped over your head then this is the night for you. Bruce Campbell is at his smirking, wide-eyed scene chewing best and it features Mr. Pitt from Seinfeld in the Merlin role. A good time will be had by all, except for the one person in the crowd who’s never seen the movie and wishes everyone would shut up.

Halloween Night-The Coolidge Corner Horror Marathon-The crowning jewel of the month. For the low, low price of $20 you get six horror classics. Or, if you can’t hang for the whole night, $10 gets you a double feature with the first two movies announced: A brand spanking new print of the tongue in cheek classic “Night of the Creeps” and the 1986 remake of “The Blob”. There are still four more moves yet to be announced, and I’ll post them as I know them. I'm sure the Coolidge will have costume contests and trivia contests and the night is going to be an all around blast. I'm stoked that I'll be around this year to enjoy it, and look forward to a post marathon brunch with friends while latex and makeup peels off my face.

Want More Info on the Coolidge Corner Theater?
Coolidge Corner official website
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...and now the screaming starts: Paranormal Activity review

For a long while now Paranormal Activity has received tremendous buzz, with some hailing it as “the scariest movie in decades”. Last night a number of cities across the country received a free midnight screening of the film. I’ve been pumped up for this movie for a long while now and headed out to brave the horrendous Rte 93 construction traffic in order to stand in line two hours ahead of time and ensure my seat. There’s always a danger when something receives the “Best thing ever” tagline. Short of talking dogs that can juggle while rollerskating and poop cupcakes, it’s heard for anything to live up to that kind of billing. Still, after too many recent movies featuring zombies or over-the-top French gore fests, I’ve been jonesing for a good, old fashioned ghost story.


Paranormal Activity comes oh-so-close to fully delivering on all its hype. I hope this gets the wide release it deserves, because a lot of people are going to love this movie.

Director Oren Peli’s film benefits from a “less is more” approach. Aside from our two principal characters, we meet only briefly meet one female friend and in a pair of scenes an area psychic the couple hires for help (The latter’s second appearance in the film bring some well-needed comic relief after the scenes that have preceded it). The only other characters we see are the lead couple: Micah (Micah Sloat) and Katie (Katie Featherston).

The premise is a simple one. The young couple has just moved into their new home in sunny San Diego (a haunting in such a beautiful, suburban location is a nice change of pace from the run down off-the-beaten track homes “with a disturbing past” that we normally find. I mean, don’t you move in expecting those places to be singles bars for poltergeists at this point?) and have begun to experience some weird behaviors at night. It’s seemingly innocuous stuff at first: flickering lights and unusual noises. We meet the two just after Micah has picked up some video equipment in an attempt to capture the events on film. In a deft touch, Katie explains that she believes she has been sporadically been haunted by a presence from an early age. This eliminates the single most annoying question in most haunted house films: When your house tells you to leave, isn’t it time to back the bags and get the hell out? Here we learn whatever it is causing the events is interested in the person, not the place. While Katie is a more than a little afraid, she puts up with Micah’s boundless enthusiasm at filming the events. The initial bits of the film depict them as a very happy couple-they have a Jim and Pam from The Office thing going on with lots of banter and back and forth.

However, as the events unfold, I found myself first baffled, then royally pissed off at Micah’s behavior. When confronted with undeniable evidence that something terrible is happening and as Katie unravels with fear, he ignores her request to bring in a recommended expert, citing his own “research” and “plan” to solve the problem. He goes out of his way to goad whatever it is in the house, and brings back a Ouija board after both the psychic and his own terrified girlfriend have pleaded with him not to as it will only serve to encourage the spirit. His escalating machismo in the face of his Katie’s rising terror, anguish and anger at Micah for exacerbating the situation piss the viewer off. At times his behavior drew me out of the viewing experience; otherwise it would have been a perfect film.

These asides with Micah and his douchiness are easily forgiven by the simple, single camera that films the hauntings as they unfold. Peri slowly feeds his audience the scares through these tense scenes. The camera reveals only the couple asleep in their bedroom with the wide open bedroom door leading towards the darkened stairwell and the bathroom at the end of the hallway. By the end of the film, this simple shot had I tensed up in my chair with my heart pounding in my ears. Peri understands that it’s the bumps in the night and the things we cannot see or comprehend that fill us with the most dread. He allows ample room for the audience to draw their on their own fears of the dark as the frights mount. As the camera preys over Micah and Katie, whatever it is tormenting the couple announces itself with a disturbing, low frequency sound that makes one’s skin crawl. Although the scares are slow at first-the creepy noises and a bedroom door moving on its own serve as our introduction to the haunt, they pick up in their intensity with each of these scenes. Still, there is virtually no gore in the film, nor do you ever really see what is disturbing them. Instead, Peri has put together an amazing sound track and the audio cues interspersed with lights turning on of their own volition, or the occasional passing shadow deliver more real scares than any film I’ve seen in years. The bumps, the bangs, and the unseen presence running amok in the wee hours of night had the packed confines of the Collidge Corner theater gasping and screaming in fright.  The daytime bits that follow allow the audience to release their tension, and seeing this in a packed theater, I could hear the collective whoosh of exhaled breaths when the each of the bedroom bits ended. Each time the film cut back to those night time scenes, announced only by the day and the timestamp on the camera, the theater went dead quiet, and the rising tension became almost impossible to endure.

I’d still like to see the original ending to Paranormal Activity. The ending we viewed was added on at the studio’s insistence. That isn’t to say the ending doesn’t work. It definitely delivers a pair of fantastic scares, albeit in a slightly more conventional tone that contradicts what had worked in the eighty minutes beforehand. My friends and I had some fun guessing as to what the original ending was, and while I’m pretty sure we nailed it, I can see where the studio, hoping this movie finds as wide an audience as possible through word of mouth, wanted the ending they did in order to appeal to the more mainstream horror fan. That statement made, to me the ending delivered, and in spades.

I’m positive this movie will find a wide release-there’s too much buzz about it right now for it simply to slip to direct-to-video status. When it does come out, anyone that’s remotely interested in horror movies should rush out to see it. 2009 has not shaped up to be the best year for theatrical horror (the screamingly funny and brilliantly over-the-top Orphan aside). So far we’ve been treated to remakes, sequels and gimmicks because that’s what now turns a profit. Nearly every film released-in every genre-comes out with the intent of making a franchise instead of a well crafted film. Paranormal Activity lives up to its promise of delivering jolting horror that feeds off the viewer’s imagination (that said, if this movie is a hit and two years later the studio decides to release Paranormal Activity 2: Blog of Shadows,I'm going to be pissed). At the very least, if you find yourself up late at night afterwards, you’ll find yourself blasting some music with the headphones on in order to block out any of the creepy crawly places your home makes. One last word of caution-if possible, avoid the trailers, and try to go into the move as cold as possible. The less you know beforehand, the more frightened you’ll be.

A Look Back at the Blair Witch Project

I was talking to a friend about meeting up for the midnight Paranormal Activity viewing tonight, and he made the comment "I think it's just going to be another Blair Witch Project". The way he made it sound, this would be a bad thing. I think he's crazy. Ten years later, BWP remains the scariest film I have ever seen.


The movie's legacy suffers because most people remember it simply for being a low-budget, came-out-of- nowhere box office sensation that gave millions of people motion sickness. When the hype for the movie escalated out of control, too many people complained that the film failed to deliver scares in the ways we've come to expect. It had been billed as the scariest move since the Exorcist, but was committed to delivering scares its own way, as opposed to what audiences had come to expect out of a scare film. As a result, this may be the only film in history that grossed nearly two hundred and fifty million dollars that failed to propel any of the actors or creators towards mega-stardom. A terrible, more conventional follow-up which did a complete 180 on what made the first film work did nothing to help the Blair Witch Project’s legacy.

I was fortunate to hear about the movie only a few days before it debuted in very limited release in Boston, along with four other cities. If I had heard caught the movie weeks after wide release, the weight of colossal expectations may have ruined it for me. One thing BWP had going for it was its brilliant marketing campaign. Although it wasn't the first horror movie to present itself as a documentary, it remains one of the best. The film itself reveals very little about the Blair witch's back story, or about the events that continued to haunt the area. However, the website and accompanying Discovery Channel "documentary" laid out the fully mythology of the area as well as Rustin Parr's murderous rampage against area children. By the time the lights dimmed at the Kendall Theater, I was fully prepared to suspend my disbelief and accept the events on screen as found footage. As the movie crept towards the last few moments, with its WTF moment of Mike standing motionless in the corner before the camera and its operator are knocked to the floor, I was paralyzed with terror. Upon walking into my apartment, on the third floor in a massive complex nowhere ear a wooded area; I managed to scream bloody murder when my roommate walked out of his bedroom the second I walked in, scaring the bejesus of me.

As an audience, we've come to expect certain things from our horror movies. When something goes bump in the night, we expect it to eventually reveal itself to the audience, providing for a momentary jolt, but also releasing the collective tension of the viewer that had built it up. After all, there's very little Hollywood can put up on a screen that can provide a bigger scare than the fear of the unknown, especially if it given time to build up inside our heads. BWP never provided the expected jolt nor provided the quick, clean visual reveal of whatever it was the hunted the Heather, Josh and Mike. Instead, the film stretches the tension out, combining the possible supernatural elements with the very real world fears of three ill-equipped college students lost and desperate in the woods. When the group hears clacking sounds in the near distance of their campsite, the expectations builds that something or someone will come rushing from the forest, yet that moment never comes. And the movie is brilliant because of that. For nearly its whole run time I sat on the edge of my seat and there was never a moment to just release the churning in my stomach. All the night time scenes, where we hear only that clacking, or the normally serene sounds of children laughing, never come to any neat resolution. Aside from a short moment where we discover what we believe are Josh's teeth and tongues, there are little to no visual scares at all. On their own, small piles of rocks and bundled stick figures hanging in a clearing offer no cause for alarm. Yet the way their revealed, combined with what we have heard and have not seen make these finds chilling.

At the same time, the three actors made me completely believe in them. Horror just works better when you don't know the actors. It makes it much easier to out one's self in their place as opposed to saying “There's Toby Maguire running from a green screen". Unlike most current horror films, where the cast looks like they needed something to do in between seasons of a CW drama, in the BWP, I never once stopped believing these were three film students from the grunge era (the Doc Marten and flannel wardrobes were pitch perfect for the era) that were in way over their heads and afraid for their lives. Apparently, you can chalk that up to having just a simple outline to work with; as they improvised all the dialogue and filmed nearly all the footage themselves (It would probably be more apt to label Daniel Myrick and Eduardo Sanchez as editors as opposed to directors). I find an anorexic supermodel running from a psychopath more fun that frightening, but I cared about Josh because that was the kind of dude that had a college radio show following my own. Even if the supernatural themes were eliminated, this film would have worked simply as a survival story of three kids lost in the woods. Heather's reaction upon finding the same log they'd crossed over hours ago, meaning they had wasted another day walking in circles, her futile self denial followed by hysterical acceptance remains scarier than 90-plus percent of what passes for horror today. The cumulative effects of their fear, panic and lack of food or sleep leave them edgy and irrational, and reduce the three to an almost child-like state. The gradual reduction of each character (it happens at different times for all three-another nice touch) to their most terrified state was brilliantly executed.

With the lackluster year this has been for mainstream horror, I’m hoping that Paranormal Activity can deliver in its potential and bring back the minimalist scares the Blair Witch Project did a decade ago. It would be further proof that we don’t need 3D gimmicks or CGI, we’re done with endless remakes and redundant sequels, nor do we need torture in order to scare us. Give your viewer a great story, and let us leave a little to our imagination, and we’ll turn up.

DVD Review - Combat Shock (Director's Cut)

Author: Chris Hallock


Combat Shock (Director's Cut) (1986)
Directed by: Buddy Giovinazzo
Written by: Buddy Giovinazzo
Rating: 4/5


Not everyone looks back fondly on the 80's as a rip-roaring cocaine party set to a new wave pop soundtrack. Sure, a group of greedy people profited from hyper corporate takeover based on the tenets of Reaganomics. And, yes, they were probably rocking out to the Thompson Twins while writhing in pools of money. Ronald Reagan (yes, the actor AND president) dismantled the solar panels installed in the White House by Jimmy Carter as a clear indication that he was sweeping out the idealistic residue of the 60's and 70's. With this symbolic move he signaled an end to government programs designed to help the larger number of US citizens who didn't make piles of cash on the stock market. His administration escalated already omnipresent social problems to crisis proportions. His time in office was basically a gigantic middle finger sticking in the faces of everyone who scraped to make ends meet.


On the furthest outskirts from any sort of economic stability resides filmmaker Buddy Giovinazzo. With a pocket full of spare change, he set out to tell a story from the perspective of those victimized by degrading US policies. With the ghost of the Vietnam War still lingering, many returning vets struggled with extreme drug addictions, physical and mental health damage resulting from exposure to the chemicals of warfare, and beleaguering anguish and guilt. The added pressure of re-integrating into society without the social safety nets originally designed to help them pushed many vets over an extremely depressing edge.


Giovinazzo, a native New Yorker, attempted to document the travails of people on the edge with his infamous first film Combat Shock. The film is often described as a "Vietnam War film meets Eraserhead", and that really is a good comparison. Vietnam vet and former prisoner of war Frankie Dunlan (Ricky Giovinazzo) wanders around his crumbling NYC neighborhood desperately seeking work to pay rent and feed his wife and mutated child. He traverses an urban wasteland, dealing with pimps, pushers, drug addicts, and bureaucracy, while haunted by painful memories of the war. Reaching his boiling point, he decides to take matters into his own hands culminating with sudden, staggering violence.


This special anniversary edition released by Troma is a great addition to a collector’s shelf. Unfortunately, new viewers may be turned off by the Troma stigma of crude, low-budget and low brow genre films. I assure you, this is a very serious work and not meant to be a campy romp. Clearly the budget is microscopic which is evident in a lot of the details. Amateurish acting abounds, but the dialogue elevates it to a tolerable level. There is a redundant synth score that some might call “cheesy” (not me, I love it). It's one of those movies where the closing credits list many family members who chipped in to help get the film made. Some scenes taking place in the wet, blazing jungles of Vietnam are obviously shot in small wooded areas around New York City. None of that matters, though, as Giovinazzo has crafted a bleak wake-up call that still resonates today. I admire Buddy G’s tenacity and his dedication to telling a gritty, uncompromising story, one that ends in utter hopeless despair.


For more info about Combat Shock or Troma Pictures, go here: http://www.troma.com/

My Favorite Horror-comedy Hybrids

With the upcoming release of Zombieland (a film everyone should rush out and see) I thought I’d take a few minutes to weigh in on my own favorite films that blend the funny with the fright. Now, if I were any sort of animator, I’d make some spiffy little short that had Michael Myers and Jackie Gleason running towards one another, with one holding a chocolate bar and the other holding an open jar of peanut butter until the two crash into one another exclaiming “You’ve got you chocolate in my peanut butter!” “You’ve got your peanut butter in my chocolate!” Then the two of them would share a laugh, go coach a little league team consisting of down and out inner city kids with hearts of gold and cap of the evening by killing nursing home residents. This would demonstrate the two great tastes that go great together: horror and comedy. In honor of my weekly football pool being screwed to holy hell, here’s a “Pick Six” of some of my favorites:

The Evil Dead 2- Less of a slapstick farce than Army of Darkness, this does have some genuine scares, but at the same time Raimi and Campbell are clearly winking at the camera as if to say “Yep. We can’t believe we’re getting paid for this either”. The creeps come from the still awesome “Dead Cam” rushing at Ash and tearing down anything that stands in its way, as well moments such as his girlfriend’s severed zombie head falling into his lap. Campbell’s epic battle with his evil infected hand prove him to be an absolutely fearless physical comedian and the impotent rage and frustration he’s able to convey just by arching his eyebrows are worth more laughs than anything Eddie Murphy has done in years. There are the “Oh-ho-ho” fake laughs you get from the oh-so –obvious “Farewell to Arms” shot, and over the top pro wrestling vibe (check out the main zombie ‘Hulking out” during the climactic fight scene) continue to make this one for the ages. Plus it remains the only movie to ever feature sexual assault by a tree.

Dead & Breakfast-A fantastic horror spoof with nods to Psycho, the Evil Dead and Michael Jackson’s Thriller amongst others, that standout feature of this movie is the music by Zachariah and the Lobos Riders. The alt-country band pops up and oddly inappropriate times in the movie, narrating the goings on before getting zombified themselves after a local bars square dance night culminates in half the town being turned into the undead. There’s also some brutal gore and splatter in this movie with a great pratfall when one of the kids slips and cracks his head in one of the corpses massive pool of blood.

Slither- I still can’t believe this movie tanked. Nathan Fillion is at his smirking, snarking, charming best (when Star Wars inevitably gets remade-mark my words some A-hole is trying to make it happen right now-there’s no doubt this is your Han Solo) best and the movie acts as a fantastic homage to 1950’s ‘It Came From Beyond” drive-in classics. Plus, it has a four ton pregnant woman give birth two millions of alien slugs, and Michael Rooker spends most of it looking like he ate Chunk from the Goonies.

Shaun of the Dead-I know this is an obvious choice, but the fact that this passes the Rocky test (can I pull it off the shelf twice a year and love it every bit as much as the previous time I watched it) warrants inclusion. What do you do when you’re an underachieving slacker that’s been hit with the double whammy of getting dumped by your lady friend and the world seems to have been infested with zombies? Same as you always would: gather with friends and loved ones at the pub, drink a few pints, blast some Queen on the Jukebox and blast the hordes of undead back to hell. Like the next film that follows, Frost and Pegg have spot on chemistry as best pals and there are a number of scenes that hold up on multiple viewings: the second convenience store scene which mirrors the first except now it has new and improved zombie flavor, the record toss, the Queen musical bit and more. Despite being a comedy, it never turns into a farce, and scenes like a David (Black Book’s Dylan Morris) getting ripped in half by a band of ravenous zombies still deliver shivers.

American Werewolf in London-The absolute perfect blend of horror and comedy. Rick Baker’s effects remain the best werewolf transformation ever. The banter between David and Jack, even as the latter keeps coming back as a harbinger of gloom and doom, the dry wit of the British even in undeath and Dr. Hirsch’s classic ‘Tell them I’m dead!” are among the funnies in the film. Oh geez, I’d have to punch myself if I forgot the “Mommy a naked American man stole my balloons” and a cheerful David standing in line at the bus queue wearing nothing but a woman’s winter coat. Yet the laughs are equally balanced by the scares. The overall creepiness of the pub folk the moors sequence, David’s nightmares and the panic that ensues in London when his wolf form escapes still deliver many, many viewings later. There was a point in the late seventies/early eighties where John Landis could do no wrong, and the obvious passion and joy he brings to his films make him my favorite filmmaker.

The Invisible Maniac-I spent many a night in my early twenties at a friend’s named Steve. Every weekend, we’d have basement punk shows at his place, get really drunk then cap off the night watching Texas Chainsaw Massacre (where we’d root all night for Franklin the cripple to buy the farm, the high five one another furiously when it happened) and the Invisible Maniac. It is a crying shame this movie is not on DVD. As the film’s lead, Noel Peters all but asks “What’s for dinner? SCENERY! OH BOY!” before coming back wearing a lobster bib with knife and fork in hand and just plain devours everything in sight. His nervous tics, his sweaty, stuttering line delivery and the manic overacting he brings to his role as, well, an invisible maniac make for one of the best worst movies you’ll ever find. Anyone that can deliver an earnest reading of a line as awesome as ‘With my injection comes my erection” deserves appreciation. It is a crying shame this movie is not on DVD.

Got your own favorites? What'd I'd miss? leave me some feedback you screwheads.

New Horror Releases 9/20-9/26

It's not quite October, where we're due to get/ enough horror related items to satisfy a hungry hungry hippo, but with the end of the month coming up, there's ome very cool releases hitting the shelves this wee:

Theatrical Releases

Paranormal Activity This indie ghost story has been a hit on the festival circuit and finally opens in select cities on September 25th (including Boston MA). It’s been hailed as one of the scariest films in a long while. I know I’m excited, here’s hoping it can live up to the advanced billing

Pandorum Opening in much wider release, this looks like the latest Hollywood take on Aliens. Still, the trailers for this make it look like a cut above the many imitators, as there are some genuine moments of tension, and Dennis Quaid is almost always reliable in anything he appears in.

DVD Releases

Friday the 13th (The Series) Season 3 Though it had zero to do with Jason, this was a great weekly horror show in the late eighties. Who knew antiquing could so scary. This show boosted a fair amount of gore and a good amount of episodes avoided wrapping up with a neat little bow, leaving the viewer to wonder when certain cursed artifacts would pop up again. Plus, as the hottest practicing Wiccan to ever grace TV, Robey was fun to look when you were a 15 year old dude. (DVD)

Autopsy of the Dead An I depth look back at Night of the Living Dead which includes cast and crew interviews, outtakes, and tours of the original filming locations. This would make for a nice back-to-back viewing with last week’s Beware the Moon. (DVD)

Albino Farm I have the feeling that reading the actual description of the film will upset the image I have in my mind of a Midwestern farm plating Albino seeds then harvesting adorable little Albino babies come fall. (DVD)

Clive Barker’s Book of Blood Based on a pair of stories from Barker’s anthology series, the redband trailer for this film looked outstanding. A young man must help transition souls to the afterlife, and it leaves him scarred physically and mentally. This looks like a must grab for your collection. (Blu-Ray/DVD)

Edges of Darkness After the umptieth zombie apocalypse hits, a family with dark secrets try to stay together and protect one another from hoards of the undead. (DVD)

The Ghosts of Girlfriend’s Past The secret to a man’s perfect tan and six pack abs is revealed: for years e has been bathing in the blood of his ex-girlfriends. Now they have returned in spirit form to torment him from beyond the grave. What? It could be about that. It has the world ‘Ghost’ right in the title! (Blu-Ray/DVD)

The Haunted World of El Superbeasto I don’t really know what to make of this adult cartoon from Rob Zombie. It looks like an X-Rated version of the 1970’s Hanna-Barbera cartoons. One released clip showed Hitler’s reanimated severed head attempting cunnilingus on a character voiced by Zombie’s wife, so it has that going for it. I’m putting the over/under on hillbilly characters at 236. (DVD)

Comic Book Highlights Releasing 9/23

Lionsgate Films Leprechaun #4 Really? Why? The money that went to creating this could’ve fed many hungry families.

The Goon TB Vol 9 “Calamity of Conscience” Love The Goon. Beautiful art and it’s always hysterical.

Hack Slash #26 SANTA MUERTE is a religious figure revered all over Mexico as a Saint of good luck and love. But sightings of her in Chicago are coinciding with the return of a fierce slasher known as Julian the Mosaic Man, the first slasher Cassie and Vlad ever faced together! (description from comiclist.com)

Zombies That Ate the World (5 of 8) Jerry Frissen and Guy Davis' zombie epic continues with 'Pop Pop Art' Part 1 (of 2) which shows us the darker side of Los Angeles 2064. Zombies, chainsaws, riots and a beheading, all in just the first half of this hilarious story! (description from comiclist.com)

Added Bonus Due to overwhelming demand, the douche nozzle that plays “Jimmy Football”, the obnoxious pitchman in those wretched Bud Light commercials is going to be skinned, then burned alive in a full scale replica of the Wicker Man apparatus and it’s GOING TO BE ON LIVE TV FOR FREE! Nic Cage and Cheri O’Teri host. Check your local cable providers for more info.

Review: Zombieland (Chris's take)

Post Author: Chris Hallock
Zombieland (2009)
Directed by: Ruben Fleischer
Written by: Rhett Reese & Paul Wernick
Rating: 3.75/5

I had a shitty day and nearly blew off a chance to see Zombieland during a free preview screening. I was bummed by a little unreasonable family drama going down just after my lunch break. I pride myself on being someone who avoids ridiculous drama and that’s usually worked out pretty well for me. Not today, though. Man, I was livid! It was just so unavoidably in my face. At the close of work, I decided “screw it” because I was meeting some good buddies and I knew they would drag me out of my funk. Glad I did, because even though we were just shooting the proverbial shit in line, I instantly perked up. Good friends make all the difference and I have some of the best!

So, getting to Zombieland, I found a parallel in the movie’s story that made me relate to it in a very real way. At its core, it is the story of family. Not the family you’re born into, but rather, the family you end up adopting through your life experiences. Maybe these people have gone through similar tough times with you, or maybe you both shared a couple of beers and stories on the porch while admiring the sunset together. I’m talking about a stronger bond than blood, which really isn’t much of a bond at all. More like something akin to standing in line for hours waiting for a zombie flick and not minding at all because you enjoy the company.

If you’re looking for a bleak, serious socio-political treatise on the failures of humanity, well, Zombieland isn’t quite what you’re looking for. There really isn’t a serious bone in its shuffling, rotting body. The filmmakers are assuming you’ve already had enough of zombie apocalypse 101 to bypass explanations. Instead, we get something that is part Romero and part Adventureland. That’s not necessarily a bad thing.

Since the zombie apocalypse has already occurred, very little time is wasted as we’re introduced to Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg), a young man surviving the wasteland by following a large list of rules. He meets up with Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson), a gung ho survivor with a bone to pick with zombies and humans alike. The two form an unlikely team roaming the landscape before meeting up with cunning sisters Wichita and Little Rock (Emma Stone and Abigail Breslin). The four set off together on seemingly different quests, but ultimately united by the common goal of kicking zombie ass.

With a snappy script, some great effects, and the best surprise movie appearance ever (I want to spoil it so bad, but I won't), Zombieland is nothing if not enjoyable. Some people will say that it’s “a zombie film for the iPod generation” or will mumble something about “Mumblecore” (whatever the fuck that is), but I don’t entirely agree. Sure, it treads familiar territory on two fronts, the zombie apocalypse theme and recent trend of awkward teen love. But it does so confidently with strong performances and invention. The familiarity is broken up by some clever additions and a handful of pretty decent scares. Pop culture references abound, but you care enough about the characters that it doesn’t get too bogged down.

What I suggest is grabbing a group of buddies, have a couple of pre-movie drinks, hug them, tell them how much you love them, buy your tickets, sit together, enjoy zombie carnage, repeat! That’s what family is all about!

Paranormal Activity IS coming to Boston, MA!!

Oh Twitter, all is forgiven. Making up for all those spambot followers and "today I had TP stuck to my bum" tweets is the  followingsmashing news from TweetYourScream:

"Sept. 24th - limited midnight Fantastic Fest screenings of PARANORMAL ACTIVITY: LA, NY, San Francisco, Chicago, Boston, Atlanta, & Seattle"

Sweet baby James Boston is going to be one of the cities that gets a showing of Paranormal Activity. I've been looking forward to this film for months and now I know it's coming to my town.

On top of Boston, Paranormal Activity will kick off with on September 24th at 11:59pm with screenings in the following cities: Los Angeles, New York, San Francisco, Atlanta, Seattle, Ann Arbor (MI), Durham (NC), Baton Rouge (LA), Boulder (CO), Columbus (OH), Santa Cruz, Orlando, Lincln (NE), Tuscon (AZ), Madison (WI) and Chicago.

For those that don't know-Paranormal Activity is the story of a couple that believe they are being haunted. They set out to capture the spirit on film, and when the cameras roll, all sorts of terrifying activites occur. This is being hailed by audiences and various websites as one of the scariest movies in years. In a classic case of less is more-the sounds of the film deliver most of the scares, and much like the Blair Witch Project, the audience derives most of the fright from their own imagination.

Visit the official site by clicking the following link: www.paranormalmovie.com

Super Ladies of Horror: Margot Kidder

Most people know Margot Kidder from her role as Lois Lane in the first two Superman films, and I can't say I blame them. She played Lois as a tough as nails smart-ass, and was hot enough to make you believe that she was the one woman out of Superman's league. With her big, baleful eyes, chestnut hair and that husky come-hither voice, and let's face it, one smoking hot figure, Margot Kidder just rocked in the 70's. Still, her role as the intrepid report Ms. Lane is not what landed her the initial post in this series. When I think of Margot Kidder, I think of her from her fantastic performances in a pair of seventies classics: Black Christmas and The Amityville Horror.

 

Bob Clark's Black Christmasis an under rated classic. Very few movies then and now could combine so many far flung elements-the obscene phone calls, the house full of soroity girls and their flask hiding alcoholic den mother, the abortion sub plot that came out of nowhere only to go unresolved, nd of course, Margot Kidder as Barb. Anyone who's seen the movie remembers her scene were she takes the piss out of the cop at the station: F-E-L-L-A-T-I-O-it's a new area code. How can you not love a woman who takes time searching for her missing, potentially dead friend to make blowjob jokes at the Precinct? Kidder's Barb was a whiskey swilling party girl who had the stones to mouth off to obscene phone callers while the rest of the girls simply peed themselves with shock. Kidder injects the film with a sexy crassness as she takes no prisoners with her pithy commentary and smartass comments. The beauty in her portrayal is her Barb KNOWS that everyone around her can't stand her but she's too busy having a good time at their expense to really give a hoot. She's the kind of woman you want to party down with, but she'll probably drink you under the table, steal your iPhone, prank call your mom then take her on a date and get to second base with her moments after the front door opens. Plus, you'll never think of the phrase "Death by unicorn" quite the same way again.

 

In the Amityville Horror Kidder played Kathleen Lutz a woman wrestling with many insecurities. She struggles doubts about integrating her new husband into a life with three children from a previous marriage. She agonizes over mortgage payments and whether or not her extended family has accepted her new marriage. She has to deal with this all before even knowing her new home is doing its best to dispatch of her and her family. In her role as Lutz, Kidder unveils a softer side unseen in Black Christmas. With a single widening of her eyes, she conveys a vulnerability unseen in previous roles. A particularly great moment, one that occurs before the house begins to terrorize the Lutz family, occurs when she's simply doing yoga stretches in her room, unaware her husband is watching her. When she finally sees him, she's startled and attempts to cover herself in her white shirt, but still remains coy about the whole thing. As the film progresses and the house starts to slowly prey on the family, Kidder's vulnerability shines through.



Though later on Kidder would gain notoriety for her struggles with bipolar disorder, there is no doubt that she was one of the finer talents of the seventies. She helped usher in the slasher age and gave as realistic performance as you'll ever find bringing the controversial "true story" of the Amityville Horror to the big screen. For these two reasons alone, Kidder deserves our top spot as one of the finest women in horror history.

And now...deep thoughts

a couple quick hits now that I'm back from Atlanta and snug as a bug at home:

First-If there isn't a movie in the works about a frustrated man that snaps after his downstairs condo neighbors play "Beatles: Rock Band" at amazingly eair piercing volume well past midnight on a weeknight, then I say we round up a film crew ASAP. Even better, let's make it a reality show, starring my downstairs neighbors. I've got some creative ideas in mind about the damage that cheap plastic guitar can yield.

Second, I've GOT to stop watching french horror movies before going to sleep. I'm two for two in the past week when it comes to having crazy dreams involving brie and a zombified Hercule Poirot. This week's culprit was Frontieres. Full review will be up soonish.

DVD Review: Laid to Rest

Post Author: Chris Hallock
Laid to Rest (2009)

Dir: Robert Hall

Written by: Robert Hall

Rating: 3/5

 I grew up during the wave of the 80’s slasher craze. That’s a lot naked breasts and slit throats to soak up for an impressionable youngster. Because it was such a profitable time for horror films, the big studios were tripping over themselves to get the next crimson-soaked flick out the door. With looser MPAA standards, body counts of ridiculous proportions were being racked up on screens across the country. Characters with big hair, skinny ties, and Reeboks were being creatively offed left and right. I remember that being a pretty fun time, but probably because I've blocked out all the dismal crud that was churned out during that era. For every “classic” there were about fifteen crapfests made simply to cash in on a trend. Nostalgia has a way of whitewashing the bad while amping up the good so that all we have left are sugary sweet memories of the past.

 A new crop of horror filmmakers are riding a wave of old school nostalgia that started with Alexandre Aja’s Haute Tension (2002). With that film, Aja rejuvenated the long dead stalk and slash formula by injecting first class cinematography, amazing effects, and a pile o’ sheer dread. Well, if you’re one of these brazen newbies shouting that your movie is a throwback to the “classics”, then you better 1) have a chemist’s skill for improving on the old formula, and 2) a keen eye for cutting out the aggravatingly dumb shit plaguing the lesser offerings. What I mean is simply that you better bring your A game.

 With that in mind, I was a little hesitant to check out Robert Hall’s tribute Laid to Rest. It hovered at the top of my "to watch" pile for a month or two. Since I’d already been let down by a few dozen neo slashers over the past 10 years, I kept passing it over. The thing is, I’m not really a huge fan of slashers in general, even though more than a few rank among my favorite movies. Still, there was something about that shiny stainless steel skull flanked by hunting knives on the cover that begged me to pop it into my DVD player.

 Does Hall get it? Well, sort of. The minimal storyline follows a victimized amnesiac (Bobbi Sue Luther), known only as “the girl”, waking up in a coffin. With no context, she sets out on a terrifying journey of discovery piecing together the bits ending in her wooden holding cell. She quickly discovers that a hulking madman (Nick Principe), outfitted in a metal skull and shoulder mounted video camera, is decimating everyone around her. After a narrow escape from the coffin and the killer (including a brief appearance by genre vet Richard Lynch!), she flees into the cold, dark night. Along the way she is assisted by Tucker and Steven (solid performances by Kevin Gage and Sean Whalen), two good-natured fellows just trying to help a pretty girl out of a jam. What happens next is a series of some of the goriest set pieces captured on camera. You see, Hall is a special effects makeup artist by trade. And boy, does he know his shit!

 What I found refreshing in the movie is that is it laced with ambiguity. Who is the girl? Why the hell is she stuffed in a coffin? Who is this psycho known only as “Chrome Skull”? A lot of these questions are never addressed, and I liked that. Too many movies fall victim to over explaining everything, stripping away the all-important mystery. Our imaginations take us to a much scarier place than the half-assed revelations we normally receive.

 More importantly, Laid to Rest is fun, a crucial ingredient that current horror filmmakers forget.  It truly feels like a carnival fun house delivering the gory goods in ridiculous excess. Bolstered with good performances, you actually want to find out what happens to The Girl rather than fast-forward to the bloodshed. I was especially impressed by the fact that the characters displayed emotional trauma throughout the film, rather than simply blowing off the fact that a friend or family member just got hacked into 47 pieces. Despite his gruff exterior, Kevin Gage in particular displays an impressive vulnerability as anguished Tucker. It’s wrenching to see the grown man cry.

 Let’s face it. This film isn’t going to win any awards. The music is annoying at times. It has a pseudo heavy metal synth guitar thing going on that I despise. The editing is a bit quick in the same manner that kills the suspense in a lot of current movies. There is the standard “dumb people doing dumb things”, a habit that horror writers can’t seem to break. Luckily, these complaints didn’t keep me from enjoying it once I got settled.Keep an eye on Hall. He has composed two solid genre love letters with Laid to Rest and his directorial debut Lightning Bug (2004). Although both movies have their problems, they clearly show that even if Hall wakes up with no memory in a coffin, he is still headed in the right direction.

Laid to Rest is available on DVD from Anchor Bay. http://www.anchorbayentertainment.com/index.asp?p=Home

Is "Paranormal Activity" getting a wide release?

Examiner.com is reporting some very cool news about the upcoming supernatural film Paranormal Activity. It seems that Paramount is going to release this movie to theaters September 25th. The only questions I have are how many theaters and how far do I have to travel to see this. Uncle Creepy at Dread Central is saying the film will have a limited release, at least at first.

For those that don't know, Paranormal Activity has been getting rave reviews since it hit the festival circuit last year, with some calling it the scariest movie they have seen in years. Shot in a faux-documentary style reminiscent of the Blair Witch Project, the movie tells the story of a married couple who believe they are being haunted. They decide to film themselves sleeping and their cameras record undeniable proof of an other worldly presence in their midst. The film relies on terrific sound effects and placement, minimal effects, and heightened, extended moments of tension in order to scare the pants off the audience. A decade after the BWP hit, this project has the potential to be a word of mouth smash hit, and I am willing to road trip very far in order to catch this.

Originally Paramount bought this film in order to remake it with a bigger budget and better known cast. According to Variety, they have cancelled that plan, coming to the logical conclusion that to do so would ruin what makes this film work:

The linchpin of all this love is "Paranormal Activity," a "verite" trip into the unknown and Oren Peli's independently produced directorial debut. "DreamWorks, under Paramount, bought it with the intention of remaking it with the original director," Schneider says. "We had test screenings built into the deal, so we could discern what needed to be redone in the remake. But the movie tested so well, they decided that it would be the height of folly to remake a mock-doc-type film with unknown actors."

This has all the makings of a classic, and I really want to see this before the hype goes into overdrive. The 25th can't (potentially) get here fast enough.

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Goofball Retro Horror- PROM NIGHT

My own senior prom was the pits. My then girlfriend and I had broken up the week for but decided to remain “friends” (oh young Michael, you had so much to learn) and still go together. I believe we said about five words to one another. The Prom song was Frankie Valli’s ‘Oh What A Night’. After I dropped my date at her house, I was arrested ten minutes late. Not for any badassery or late night debauchery. No sir, I was hassled by The Man for failing to pay a previous speeding ticket.
So with that as a back drop, how did my craptacular evening shape up with the events of 1980’s Prom Night? The movie stars Jamie Lee Curtis as she’s smack dab in the middle of her run as horror’s favorite scream queen. It’s a simple story with a premise that gets overused nowadays.

The movie starts of strongly. There are some excellent exterior shots of the abandoned school our kids (Wendy, Nick, Kelly and Jude) are playing in. When the Hammond siblings (Kim, Alex and Robin) stumble upon the school, some contrived events involving a geography book end up with Robin being the only of the three that go inside the school. The other four kids decide to chase her while yelling that “The Killer is Coming” and it’s genuinely scary, and ends with a terrified Robin plummeting out a window to her death. Wendy makes the other kids swear a pact to tell no one they were there, but of course SOMEONE sees them. The next scene cuts to her dad (Leslie Neilson-criminally underused in this movie) grieving in one of the abandoned classrooms while the voice-over of Lt. McBride (George Toutilas-frankly he looks like Ralph Frumpyface Nader, so from here on in I’m calling him Lt. Frumpyface) tells him that the assumed killer, a sex predator, also sexually abused Robin, despite any evidence to the contrary.

Now the film cuts to “Six years later” and things take a turn for the odd. I understand that this was an early entry in to the slasher genre, and have to commend the film for attempting to ape Halloween rather than do what most of the followers did-throw as many teenage bodies on screen and let the body count pile up ASAP, For the fact that for the next hour, not much happens. Aside from some creepy prank calls (again, might as well steal from the best-Black Christmas), you’d think Prom Night was a mash-up of Mean Girls and Staying Alive. The next on-screen kill doesn’t take place until exactly the one hour mark, and even after that there are some odd pacing issues. Really, you just get an hour the kids hanging out at school and Jaime Lee's borther getting in a fight with three bullies where he busts some spider monkey next level moves before anything else happens. Oh, and a VW Bug drives by. Very ominous.

That’s not to say there’s not goofy fun to be had in that hour. There’s some snarky back and forth between Jamie Lee Curtis’ Kim and the bitchy Wendy as they fight over Nick. Even though she’s playing another version of the Laurie Strode good girl, the film allows Curtis to let her hair down a little more. She gives as good as she gets when she snarks with Wendy. There’s also an inexplicable dance number midway through the film where for two solid minutes Jamie Lee practices her disco dance moves on a completely empty gymnasium floor with no music playing in the background whatsoever. That alone is so deserving I spent a few minutes wondering if they were setting up a massive swerve where Jamie Lee would be unveiled as the killer instead of the Final Girl.


Can I just say that I completely understand (and heartily endorse) why Jamie Lee decided to go topless a couple years later after seeing her prom dress outfit. She looks like a pink Grimace’s puffed up little sister in this thing. She HAD to show off the goods after this movie if only to prove once and for all she wasn't a dude. The fact that the actor playing her boyfriend managed to pull off the “you look beautiful line” without dissolving into giggles when escorting her to the dance is a testament to his talent and ability.
There are also some great bit characters in Prom Night. Robert A Silverman is a great genre “That Guy” and he has some hysterical facial expressions as he’s planted as a red herring throughout the movie. Check out his reaction below when a luscious young coed gives him the full moon.

There’s also a great character named Slick. This chubby little guy drives a tricked out Shaggin’ Wagon, sports an amazing jewfro and looks like he could be Jonah Hill’s Dad. He also manages to score a pretty baberific Jude (Joy Cunningham) the morning of the prom AND gets in her pants that night. The fact that she’d never met nor heard of him before that day begs the question as to how you go through four years of high school and not at least bump into such an awesome schlep a few times, but this isn’t the type of film where heavy mental living is required. Their death scene, which involves the Shaggin’ Wagon and cliffs, is hysterical.


There’s also a dance number with Jaime Lee and her prom date that begins with the line “Le’s show them what we got” and is straight out of Staying Alive. It is Awesome with a Dick Vitale Capital A BABY!
I could have done without the extended chase scene. Suffice to say, if you’re getting stalked by an axe wheedling maniac in a ski mask, run TOWARDS the room with 200 students and teachers in it, not the student auto body shop.

Also, if you’ve ever thought “Man I kind of dug HALLOWEEN, but it lacked that disco soundtrack during the climactic struggle between the killer and the final girl that would’ve brought it over the top.” Then Prom Night is your movie. Also, I think Joss Whedon ripped off the idea of how to kill Buffy’s season five big bad Glory with the hokey idea of Summer’s blood when Jaime Lee understands who the killer is.
After watching a woman use a pair of fabric shears In order to give another woman a home cesarean (Inside) Prom Night is the kind of goofy fun that blasts some of the nightmares away. It’s not brilliant, but it’s a nice, nostalgic look at early 80’s teen scare flicks.

Agree? Disagree? Go to the top and leave a comment.

DVD Review: Inside

Inside (2007)
Directed by Alexandre Bustillo & Julien Maury
Dimension Extreme Studios
French, subtitled in English
As far as foreign horror goes, the French are the bee’s knees. The French specialize in making the confines of the average home a place of unimaginable horror. Continuing the tradition films such as High Tension and Them, Inside is a truly gruesome entry into the home invasion genre. What sets Inside apart is the additional terror one feels for a woman on the verge of giving birth attempting to fight of a deranged home intruder, defending herself and her unborn child, as well as the sheer levels of monstrosity another woman will go to in order to get her hands on the unborn child.
A warning: Inside is one of the most gruesome movies you will ever watch. If you are at all squeamish at the site of squirting blood, you may want to take a pass on this film. If you do watch, you will never look at a hair chopstick quite the same way again. The killings are brutal, and the use of fabric shears for cutting up of flesh is especially cringe worthy. While there is blood galore in the film, it is not what makes this movie so terrifying. The tension created as the antagonist (a simply amazing Beatrice Dalle simply billed as “La Femme”) stalks Sarah with the sole intention of cutting her child out of her womb is crafted so well, it vaults Inside to modern classic status.
The film opens with a shot of a fetus resting in the womb as it hears its mother’s voice coo words of comfort. The next cut is of a grisly car wreck and its bloody aftermath. The camera focuses for long tense moments on the grisly visage of Sarah (Alysson Paradis). While she survives, her husband has been killed in the crash.

Four months later, it is Christmas Eve and Sarah is a day away from having labor induced. She has emerged from the accident an angry woman, and she lashes out at her mother and others who try to comfort her. As she spends the night alone in her home, there is a knock on her door. A woman asks to use a cell phone, but Sarah refuses to open up. When Sarah claims her husband is sleeping, the stranger chillingly tells her “We both know your husband isn’t sleeping, Sarah”. After a chilling standoff ends when Sarah calls the police and the stranger leaves. After scouring the area, the cops promise to check back later that night.
Soon afterwards, The Woman returns, unaware to Sarah. While the audience knows what is coming, those tense moments when Dalle silently observes a sleeping Sarah before tearing into her is horror at its finest.

When the carnage begins in earnest, and there are no limits to the level of shock the film is willing to sink to. Yet, while much of the more grisly scenes are telegraphed ahead of time, waiting for that shoe to drop left a nervous pit in my stomach, and these moments paid off in a big, cringe-inducing way. The film is also beautifully shot especially the interior living room with soft, low, red-tinged lighting filtering in from the table lamps, which adds to the atmosphere of dread. There's an amazing sequence featuring a flash camera which highlights what has transpired in the home. Special props go out to both actresses. As Paradis and Dalle are the only two persons on screen for large portions of the running time, they both completely sell their roles. Paradis makes you both root for and fear for Sarah as she is not only fighting for her own survival, but also must deal with her water breaking and her impending labor that the stress and fear has triggered. Dalle is simply amazing to watch. The ways her simple black dress and tangled black hair hide her in the shadows, the way her cigarette briefly illuminates her face in the dark and murder lurking behind her eyes, and her utter relentlessness make her a genre icon for this age.
[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="400" caption="Beatrice Dalle is stunning as La Femme"][/caption]

The only thing that keeps me from calling this movie perfect is the return of the police. In particular, one cops string of stupid decisions in such a short time dragged me out of the movie and had me yelling at the screen. I know horror movies hinge on people making poor decisions, but when one cop in particular stumbled into the blood bath only to make a string of mindblowingly awful decisions, it served as a terrible distraction that took me out of the movie. I would have completely nixed the fifteen minutes with the return of the police and focused on the bloody cat and mouse game between Sarah and La Femme.

Thankfully the film quickly rebounds and leads up to one of the most shocking climaxes I’ve ever seen. The last five minutes of the film will turn even the most seasoned horror vet’s stomach, yet at the same time, the closing moments are as oddly beautiful as they are disturbing, thanks to some excellent cinematography.

Once again, the French have demonstrated an amazing knack for getting horror right. Maybe it’s American’s shrinking attention spans that lead our directors to substitute torture and jump scares in place of real tension. It seems that the French know that while buckets of blood can horrify an audience, the real fright comes from the tense moments of wondering what the worst thing is that can happen, even in the perceived safety of our own homes.
Postscript: After finishing review, I got up to make a small snack. I mistook someone in the lot outside shutting their car door as a bang on our porch. I jumped, and even after realizing there was nothing outside my door, I set the deadbolt-a rarity at our place, and locked the sliding glass patio door despite the night’s humidity. We live on a second floor condo which would be VERY difficult to climb up onto. This movie stayed with me hours after we had finsihed watching it.

Review: I Sell the Dead (2009)

I Sell the Dead (2009)
Written and Directed by: Glenn McQuaid
I Sell the Dead Official Site

Post Author: Chris Hallock

Unless you have a generous trust fund or a cushy exec job lined up in your daddy's company, you've probably spent too much of your waking life working a crappy job. It's nothing to be embarrassed about. Most of us have had to suck it up and perform unsavory labor to make rent. I distinctly remember a warm summer afternoon at a certain golden arched fast food joint when I had to traverse the playland slide to clean up a trail of baby shit spread throughout the structure. Hunched over in the padded tunnels armed with all-purpose cleaner, I cursed the day over tables full of shouting brats, ketchup crust, and soggy french fries.

Well, the two protagonists of I Sell the Dead are no different from you or me. They are just trying to get by in the tanked out economy of 19th century Ireland. With no fast food or big box retail to depend on, they settle on the equally soul-sucking job of graverobbing. In my opinion, it's probably one of the few things worse than cleaning up baked, greasy baby shit on a summer day. However, some people might prefer stealing corpses to mindlessly flipping burgers or scanning at a register all day. Hell, they look like they’re having a lot of fun busting up coffins and carting around stinking corpses. At least they make their own hours and can drink on the job.

Without giving away too much plot, the film's story centers on the exploits of professional graverobbers Arthur Blake and Willie Grimes. They are two down-on-their-luck scamps just trying to keep food in their bellies. They somehow earn the reputation of being among the best in the business. They make backroom bar deals while swilling gallons of ale. Along the way, they discover that not all bodies like to stay dead, and bagging the undead fetches quite a price on the open market.

Working more as dark comedy than outright horror, the film relies on strong chemistry between the characters. I found myself rooting for the despicable ruffians even when they were grifting an in-progress funeral. Not all the jokes work, but the movie is very funny and adequately creepy. Much of the film is just as likely to give you a fit of giggles as it is to chill your spine.

First time feature director Glenn McQuaid has assembled an impressive cast of easily recognized genre vets. Clearly he has chosen them based on solid talent and not merely to pepper his story with cameos (are you listening Rob Zombie?!). Dominic Monaghan (Charlie from Lost) plays Arthur Blake, a man convicted of unspeakable crimes and awaiting sentencing. He is visited in prison by Father Duffy (Ron Perlman displaying his usual larger-than-life presence) who eagerly awaits Blake’s confession with strange enthusiasm. Angus Scrimm (The Tall Man, duh) briefly appears as body buyer Dr. Vernon Quint, playing it with a gentle, understated charm that quickly turns to menace. Indie film auteur Larry Fessenden steals the show as wild- eyed grave robber Willie Grimes who has taken Arthur under his wing. Up and coming Brenda Cooney rounds out the cast with a great turn as the manipulative Fanny Bryers.

McQuaid lovingly pays tribute to the EC comics of the 40’s and 50’s. Scenes are dripping in rich atmosphere. You can practically feel the misty fog of the moors wetting your face, smell the dank earth of the fresh grave, feel the bite of a very pissed off vampire. Scenes are punctuated with a cool comic book art freeze-frame reminiscent of George Romero’s sadly overlooked Creepshow anthology. The artistic style of I Sell the Dead is reminiscent of illustrator Bernie Wrightson’s great work. McQuaid and company make the most of their meager budget with convincing art direction, locations, costumes, and authentic dialogue. Oh, did I mention that the makeup effects are great?

This is a very fun film to experience in a theater setting. The only thing someone (not me) might complain about is the pacing. Much of the film is structured around some lengthy dialogue scenes that place the characters conversing around candle lit tables for a lot of the film. No doubt this was to help stretch the budget and make effective use of the skillful actors. Thankfully, the dialogue is spirited and the actors deftly command their scenes. I only mention it at all because it may turn off less patient viewers who are used to the frantic pacing of current Hollywood garbage. But for those of you with a passion for old-time supernatural lore, you are in for more than a few surprises.

Check out I Sell the Dead during its limited theatrical run! You can also catch it on IFC Films on Demand. Make sure the check out Larry Fessenden’s other Scareflix (Glasseye Pix) releases here: http://www.scareflix.net/.

I Sell the Dead Trailer